‘Mr. Monk vs. the Cobra’
Season 3, Episode 11 - Aired January 28, 2005
Monk investigates the death of an author who wrote a tell-all book about a martial arts star long dead. Meanwhile, Natalie threatens to quit when Monk refuses to pay her business expenses.
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Captain Stottlemeyer: Where's Monk? What did you do with him?
Chris Downey: Relax, Captain. He's still alive. For now.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Where is he? What did you do? You'll be savin' both your lives.
Chris Downey: You wanna find your friend. I want somethin', too. I want a car to the airport. I'm already packed. I want a jet that can fly. When I'm in the air, I'll tell you, A) Where I'm goin', and B) Where you can dig up... Yeah, "dig." You can dig... [collapses]
Natalie: Oh, my God, I think he's having a heart attack!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Downey!
Lieutenant Disher: He's got no pulse.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Downey!
Natalie: Don't die on us! Don't die on us!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Where's Monk? Downey! Where's Monk? Where's Monk?
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Captain Stottlemeyer: I want that backhoe running. Ready and running! Keep it running! All right, listen up! We figure he's got about 40 minutes of air if he's not panicking. Figure on 15 minutes.
Quote from Adrian Monk
[fantasy scene:]
Trudy: So Chris Downey went to prison for six years.
Adrian Monk: He was paroled three weeks ago. When he came back to dig up the jewels, he must've had the shock of his life. [coughs]
Trudy: The monument?
Adrian Monk: Exactly. While he was gone, some fan club put up a monument. Solid granite. [gasping for air] Weight, 3 tons. He realized he couldn't... Dig the coffin up. At least, not quietly.
Trudy: Uh-huh.
Adrian Monk: Or by himself. So he got his old job back at the cemetery and then framed Sonny Chow for murder and got the police to dig up the jewels... [panting]
Trudy: For him. Congratulations, Detective.
Adrian Monk: Lot of good it does me here.
Trudy: All right, darling. Shh. It's all right.
Adrian Monk: I can't breathe.
Trudy: It's all right. Adrian, Adrian.
Adrian Monk: I can't-
Trudy: Okay, save your breath.
Adrian Monk: breathe.
Trudy: Save your breath. It's all right.
Quote from Adrian Monk
[fantasy scene:]
Adrian Monk: You're so beautiful. I-
Trudy: Shh.
Adrian Monk: I should have taken more pictures.
Trudy: Darling, don't talk. Don't talk.
Quote from Adrian Monk
[fantasy scene:]
Trudy: Adrian. Adrian, listen. Listen, they're digging. They're coming for you. Natalie must have come back to look for you. That's how they knew you were missing. Yeah. Adrian, listen to me. I want you to do something for me. I want you to close my office and pay her what she needs.
Adrian Monk: I can't- I can't close it.
Trudy: It's just four walls and a door. It means nothing.
Adrian Monk: No.
Trudy: Adrian, you have to go now.
Adrian Monk: No, no.
Trudy: Adrian, you have to go.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no.
Trudy: You have to go.
Adrian Monk: No.
Trudy: I love you. I love you.
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Paramedic: He's breathing. Get him some oxygen.
Lieutenant Disher: Call Dr. Charles Kroger. Tell him to meet us at the hospital.
Natalie: He's smiling.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've never seen him look happier.