Adrian Monk: You want me to go in backwards?
Rita Bronwyn: No, no, no. On three, I go in high. You follow me. Stay low.
Adrian Monk: Got it. [Rita taps her nose] Do I have something on my nose?
Rita Bronwyn: Oh. No. That's just from The Sting.
Adrian Monk: What sting?
Rita Bronwyn: No, the movie The Sting. They were always doing this.
Adrian Monk: What does it mean?
Rita Bronwyn: I don't know.

Shawn: Hey. I was just about to call your room. [sings] My Sharona. [talks] Bet you get that all the time.
Sharona: Uh, no, no, no. That was- That was the first time. Uh, this is my boss, Adrian Monk, and my son Benjy.
Shawn: Hey, how you doing, guys? So, what do you think?
Sharona: You look great I won't be able to keep my eye on the ball.
Shawn: Exactly my plan. I'll take them.
Sharona: Okay, I'll see you two later. And don't let him get into any trouble.
Adrian Monk: I won't.
Sharona: I was talkin' to Benjy.

Lieutenant Disher: [on the phone] Fenimore, John P. Well, he's a big fish. Chief Operating Officer for Marin Bay Investments. Makes a lot of money for a lot of people, Monk. Oh, here's a red flag. He was indicted three years ago. Domestic thing. A fight with his wife got out of hand. She dropped the charges the next day.
Adrian Monk: Is that it?
Lieutenant Disher: Yep. That's it. So, uh, would you like to tell me what's going on?
Adrian Monk: I think this time he might have killed his wife.
Lieutenant Disher: Where are you staying, Monk? The Bates Motel?
Adrian Monk: No. But I have a feeling this place is run by the same company.

Rita Bronwyn: Tony, remember last Christmas, that jewelry was stolen? You didn't listen to me. I believe you were reprimanded for that.
Tony Landis: Fine! All right. You have one hour. After that, the siege is over, and we're back to normal. Or what passes for normal around here. Are you happy now?
Adrian Monk: I'm never happy.

Rita Bronwyn: Mr.Monk, would you like a toothpick? I like 'em minty. You care for one?
Adrian Monk: No, thanks.
Rita Bronwyn: You sure? They're individually wrapped.
Adrian Monk: Okay.

Rita Bronwyn: Are you thinking inside job?
Adrian Monk: Maybe it's that comedian. Wouldn't that be great? Do you have a piece of paper?
Tony Landis: No.
Adrian Monk: Isn't that a notepad in your pocket?
Rita Bronwyn: It's lime?
Adrian Monk: It's calcium oxide quicklime.
Tony Landis: What's that supposed to mean?
Adrian Monk: It's used to cover up smells. Smugglers use it to fool drug-sniffing dogs.
Rita Bronwyn: I've seen the mob use it when they try to hide a body.
Adrian Monk: You've seen the mob use it?
Rita Bronwyn: I mean, in that movie GoodFellas I saw it.

Adrian Monk: What do they weigh? About 40 pounds each?
Groundskeeper: Fifty.
Adrian Monk: Heavy bags. Locked door. They probably used the window. There had to be- There had to be more than one person. I think we're looking for a gang. Did they move those pallet boards?
Groundskeeper: They don't belong there.
Adrian Monk: They were short.
Groundskeeper: A short gang of lime thieves?
Adrian Monk: It's a nutty world.

Benjy: It stinks in here.
Adrian Monk: Oh, that's the the disinfectant. They cleaned the whole room.
Benjy: That's not the laundry. That's the garbage.
Adrian Monk: I know.
Benjy: Okay, so why are you throwing it away?
Adrian Monk: They were irredeemable. Do you know what that means?
Benjy: Uh, yeah. They got dirty.
Adrian Monk: Exactly.

Benjy: Listen, I wanted to say thanks.
Adrian Monk: For what?
Benjy: For believing me when nobody else did. Though you probably just felt sorry for me 'cause my dad's not around.
Adrian Monk: Hey. I don't have to be your father to believe you. Or to be proud of you. If you say you saw a body, then something happened here. And I'm gonna find out what it is.
Benjy: I've never seen a room this clean. She must have worked all night.
Adrian Monk: Oh, it wasn't just one. It was a whole group of them. Four maids. A short gang. The maids.

Adrian Monk: The maids' locker room. Right down here.
Rita Bronwyn: God, you're good! It took me six months to find this place. Hey, Landis says you've gotta check out by 4:00 p.m. No extension.
Adrian Monk: 4:00 p.m. that only gives me three hours.
Rita Bronwyn: That's all Clint had in Dirty Harry.
Adrian Monk: Hey, uh, Rita, you have had nonfictional police experiences, right?
Rita Bronwyn: Yeah, sure.