Adrian Monk: Hold on. Wait a minute. I don't believe this.
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: I'm actually starting to care about this case. This stupid $900 fender bender. How the hell did that happen?

Linda Fusco: There's brand-new carpeting. There's a washer and dryer in the basement. And there is a park right down the street for your kids. When they come to visit.
Captain Stottlemeyer: The one that we saw yesterday was bigger, right?
Linda Fusco: That's true, but this one has a better view.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How you figure?
Linda Fusco: You see this condo here with the umbrella on the balcony?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah.
Linda Fusco: That's me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're right. The view is better.

Captain Stottlemeyer: How much is it?
Linda Fusco: It's $2,250 a month, plus utilities.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't know.
Linda Fusco: Leland, it's been five months. It's time to do this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you think?
Linda Fusco: Unfortunately, I speak from experience. I know you're in pain, but you can't go around it. You gotta go through it. Besides, we'll have something in common.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Really? What's that?
Linda Fusco: I'll have a better view too.

Natalie: You don't have to worry. You're not even gonna get wet. Look, look, look, look. That boat is tied to the dock. The dock is bolted down. It's like part of the land. I'll stay here. If Dr. Bennett shows up, I'll whistle. Leap, and a net will appear.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Lieutenant. What's going on?
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, you know, a little bit of everything. We got a local fisherman drowned. M.E.'s on his way. And Monk is stowed away on a boat.
Natalie: And the boat took off.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Natalie: We were working on Linda's case.
Captain Stottlemeyer: The fender bender?
Natalie: Yeah, we have a suspect. Jay Bennett. And Mr. Monk snuck on the boat to look around. And it's all my fault. I just kept on pushing him.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Jay Bennett. Dr. Jay Bennett? That name just came up on the missing schoolteacher, Anna Pollard.
Lieutenant Disher: His name's all over the phone records, too. I was just going through them. Dr. Jay Bennett.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Tuesday night. Tuesday night, he dumped her body in the bay. And then he came back here. He must've hit your car in the parking lot while he was leaving. That's why he didn't leave his name on the note. He could not admit that he'd been here.

Adrian Monk: This isn't about a dented fender, is it?
Jay Bennett: You figured that out, huh, Mr. Private Eye?
Adrian Monk: Is this where you killed her?
Jay Bennett: Back up. Against the railing.
Adrian Monk: Here's the thing. I don't really think I can swim. I took a course. But I- I never actually, technically-
Jay Bennett: Doesn't matter. You're gonna be dead before you hit the water. First the shoe.

Adrian Monk: "Don't panic." Forget that. "Breath normally." "Flutter kicks."

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, there he is! There's Monk!
Natalie: Where?
Captain Stottlemeyer: 20 degrees to port.
Natalie: Is he swimming?
Lieutenant Disher: What's that beside him? Is it a life preserver?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Ah, looks like a toilet seat.
Linda Fusco: Well, if it's floating, why doesn't he just grab it?
Natalie: [all groan] Too hard to explain.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Complicated story.

Adrian Monk: [mumbles]
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Adrian Monk: [mumbles]
Natalie: What did he say?
Lieutenant Disher: He said, "Leap and a net will appear, my ass."
Natalie: Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

Adrian Monk: S-s-southeast barrier.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Southeast barrier? What about it?
Adrian Monk: Her body-- That's where he dumped her.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He told you that?
Adrian Monk: No. Kelp. Bull kelp. It was on his anchor. It was still wet from the b-barrier.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, we'll get some divers out there straight away.