Adrian Monk: Told you to forget about that stupid bike. You never listen to me.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you're right. I'm so sorry. This is one of the worst weeks of my life.
Adrian Monk: Not exactly a banner week for me either.
Natalie: Let's look on the bright side.
Adrian Monk: Okay. You go first.
Natalie: The doctor said it was only going to be three weeks. That's not bad. And, um, your shoes won't get dirty or wet.
Adrian Monk: That's your bright side? My shoes won't get wet? That's not exactly blindingly bright, is it? It's more like a little 25-watt light.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Knock, knock, knock. Hey, how's our patient? You look great.
Lieutenant Disher: Nice wheels. Does that thing have a motor?
Natalie: I'm the motor. I just feel terrible. This is all my fault.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, don't beat yourself up.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. Let her finish. What were you saying?
Natalie: How sorry I was.
Adrian Monk: That it?
Natalie: How bad I feel.

Dean Berry: What happened to you?
Adrian Monk: Ugh, Natalie had chips.
Natalie: We were looking for your stolen bike, and Mr. Monk got shot.
Dean Berry: Oh, man. What is happening to us? The family of man, we're hurting each other, we're stealing from each other.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Family of man's starting to sound like a real family.
Dean Berry: Mr. Monk, you know what I'm going to do for you? I am going to adopt ten acres of Brazilian rain forest in your name.
Adrian Monk: Thank you. I don't have to visit it, do I? Or or water it? Or think about it?
Dean Berry: No.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Professor Berry Somebody paid that young man to steal your bicycle. Apparently they paid him a lot of money.
Dean Berry: You're kidding.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, we were hoping you could tell us why. Was there anything unusual about your bike?
Dean Berry: Like what?
Lieutenant Disher: A gold basket.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or... Uh...
Dean Berry: Or what?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or anything else.

Adrian Monk: Could some could something have been hidden inside the frame?
Dean Berry: Oh, I can't imagine it. The frame was filled with polycarbonate honeycomb for better stability.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I understand the bike was a gift?
Dean Berry: Yes, it was. From the Visionary Project.
Lieutenant Disher: I've never heard of them.
Dean Berry: Oh, neither had I until the bike arrived. Sarah Longson, my assistant, wheeled it in with a big bow, and a very, very complimentary letter.
Adrian Monk: Do you still have the letter?
Dean Berry: No, I shredded it, repulped it, recycled it.
Adrian Monk: Of course you did.

Natalie: I'm just tired, Mr. Monk. I was up all night building that ramp for your back door.
Adrian Monk: Well the ramp was your idea.
Natalie: I know, and I'm happy to do it. It's just that I haven't been home in three days. And I haven't seen my daughter.
Adrian Monk: I understand. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?
Natalie: Really?
Adrian Monk: Sure. I can make my own dinner. I'll just eat whatever's on the bottom shelf. You know, whatever I can reach. Whatever's in the crisper. Then I'll just hop around for a while, and drag myself into bed. You go have fun.
Natalie: I'll stay.
Adrian Monk: Eh, it's up to you.

Adrian Monk: Okay, wait. Right there. It's a tire track.
Natalie: Is that from the bike?
Adrian Monk: No, it's not a bike. It was wider.
Natalie: Was it a car?
Adrian Monk: I can't tell. There's more over there. And some over there. It keeps changing direction. You know? I don't know understand. I don't... Is that one right there? [Monk falls out of his wheelchair]
Natalie: Oh, my God, Mr. Monk are you okay?
Adrian Monk: What did you do?
Natalie: I didn't do anything.
Adrian Monk: Help me up! Wait, wait. No, wait. I have a better idea. As long I'm down here, would just shovel some dirt over me. Get it over with.

Natalie: Oh, God.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, do you resent me?
Natalie: Don't be silly. You were shot in the leg. You're seriously injured.
Adrian Monk: That's what I thought. The captain is concerned about you. He doesn't understand our relationship. Pothole! Pothole.
Natalie: Sorry. Sorry. Where to next?
Adrian Monk: Let me see. Okay, we have to go up to the Mountain View Deli.
Natalie: Okay.
Adrian Monk: And back down to the Valley Pharmacy. And then back up to the Hilltop Dry Cleaner.
Natalie: Yeah, Mr. Monk, do you think we could combine the Mountain View Deli and the Hilltop Cleaners? Just before we do the Valley thing, so we're not going up, and down, and...
Adrian Monk: Oh, I don't know.

Natalie: Mr. Monk, I can't go on. I can't go on like this. I can't keep on apologizing. I'm sorry, I haven't slept in three days. I'm going broke. Your insurance wouldn't cover the wheelchair. I had to rent it myself.
Adrian Monk: [wheelchair brakes unlock] Natalie!
Natalie: Just let me finish, okay? I didn't shoot you, Mr. Monk. You have to forgive people. Say you forgive me.
Three little words, that's all I need.
Natalie: Just three little words and it'll just release me.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, the brakes.
Natalie: You're right, I just got to pick it up. I don't need a break. I don't need a break.
Adrian Monk: Natalie! Natalie!

Dean Berry: Oh, my God. You found it!
Natalie: Mr. Berry, I've been waiting all week all week to say this.
Dean Berry: Where was it?
Natalie: It was in some dumpster up the street. I tried to clean it as best as I could.
Dean Berry: Oh, you didn't need to do that. Oh, I owe you an apology. In fact, I owe an apology to the entire family of man. This is just what the doctor ordered.
Natalie: Good.