Maria Cordova: Excuse me! Somebody owes me $10.
Adrian Monk: Maria!
Maria Cordova: Do I know you?
Adrian Monk: I've been looking for you all night.
Maria Cordova: For me? Why?
Adrian Monk: I don't know why. I mean, I don't know.
Adrian Monk: [notices her tattoo] "12-14-97"? Oh, God, that's the day my wife died.
Maria Cordova: It was the day my wife died. That's the day I was reborn. At least that's how it felt. I had a disease. Retinitis pigmentosa. I was going blind. And then-
Adrian Monk: And you had a cornea transplant. From Trudy?
Maria Cordova: That's right. Trudy Monk.
Adrian Monk: My wife.
Maria Cordova: I have her corneas.
Adrian Monk: Trudy's eyes.

Dr. Kroger: An Hispanic woman? How old?
Adrian Monk: 40, maybe 45.
Dr. Kroger: And you didn't recognize her?
Adrian Monk: Never seen her before in my life.
Dr. Kroger: Well, Adrian, you know, you can't be sure of that, because nobody could possibly remember all of the people that they- [Monk looks at Dr. Kroger] Okay, I'm sorry. You never saw her before. But maybe she reminded you of someone from an old case. [Monk shakes his head] Adrian, it had to be something. You had a visceral reaction to her. You chased the woman for two blocks. You all right?
Adrian Monk: Tired. I haven't slept.
Dr. Kroger: You haven't slept since when?
Adrian Monk: Three days.
Dr. Kroger: Three days is Friday, the day that you saw this woman.
Adrian Monk: I just can't sleep. When I close my eyes, I see her. All I can see is her face.

Dr. Kroger: All right, Adrian, you can't go on this way. You're going to have to get some sleep. There are mild sedatives-
Adrian Monk: No. No pills.
Dr. Kroger: There's nothing else I can really say.
Adrian Monk: Does anyone ever die from insomnia?
Dr. Kroger: Nah.
Adrian Monk: So I would be the first?

Gully: Goldfish. You know they have absolutely no memory? Every time that little fella takes a lap around that tank, it's like he's seeing it for the first time.
Adrian Monk: Bet you wish you were in there with him. You could cheat him out of all of his money, he'd never catch on.
Gully: Oh, buddy, I'm in there with him.
Adrian Monk: You're a con man.
Gully: Hey, it's 2:00 in the morning in the big city. Everyone you meet at this hour is on the grift, right? Big con, little con, everybody's playing the angles.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Gully: Not thirsty?
Adrian Monk: Not much of a drinker.
Gully: Yeah, me neither. I just can't think of a better way to get all this alcohol into my body. Barkeep, can I have a G&T, please? Name's Gulliver. Oh. "Gully" to my friends.

Adrian Monk: So that's what you do? You just go around cheating kids out of their allowance?
Gully: Hey, cheapest lesson that kid'll ever learn. Don't worry, I'm not gonna pull any of that stuff with you. No, you're an adult. You've been around, I can tell.
Adrian Monk: Well, that's right.
Gully: You've seen things.
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Gully: Yep, you probably don't even bet or gamble. You're straight edge.
Adrian Monk: [chokes on drink] That's- That's right.
Gully: If you were ever to bet, It would have to be a sure thing.
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Gully: For instance, If I were to say, "Hey, let's you and me play a little poker," You'd say, "No way."
Adrian Monk: Yeah, that's right.
Gully: But on the other hand, if I were to say, "I bet I know where you got your shoes," Now, that might give you pause. Now, that's a bet you just might take. You don't know me. Right? We've never seen each other before. There's no way I know where you got your shoes.
Adrian Monk: Exactly.
Gully: How much?
Adrian Monk: What?
Gully: I'll bet you 50 bucks I can tell where you got your shoes.
Adrian Monk: Where I got these shoes?
Gully: Mm-hmm.
Adrian Monk: These shoes?
Gully: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: The ones I'm wearing?
Gully: Mm-hmm.
Adrian Monk: Okay. You're on.
Gully: You got those shoes on your feet.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, there's something you never knew about me. I like to sleep. I like to get into bed and not get out of bed until I wake up.
Lieutenant Disher: His name is William Lee, and he's been here all night.
Adrian Monk: No.
Lieutenant Disher: He's taking the train in the morning. To visit his brother in Portland. Mr. Lee says that he's not an undercover cop, and he's never been to the Bay Street Cafe.
Adrian Monk: Well.
Lieutenant Disher: He also says he's never been shot four times.
Adrian Monk: He's lying.
Captain Stottlemeyer: About what, Monk? In my experience, a person that's been shot four times is pretty forthcoming about it.
Lieutenant Disher: Monk, I called it in, he checks out.

Captain Stottlemeyer: What are you wearing? Your PJs?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I was sleeping.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is that, a picture? Lemme see. Lemme see. [chuckles] Captain America.
Lieutenant Disher: It's ironic.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, if it's ironic, why are you trying to hide it?
Lieutenant Disher: It adds to the irony. You know what? Just forget about it. You wouldn't understand
It's a Gen X thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh.
Adrian Monk: Captain!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh, which one?

Captain Stottlemeyer: Do these belong to you?
Jacob Posner: Yeah. Well, I mean, they used to. I sold them. This is a coin shop. That's what I do. What's with the, uh- [notices Disher's pajamas]
Lieutenant Disher: We'll ask the questions here, Mr. Posner.

Lieutenant Disher: Oh, hey, the dime. What do you think?
Jacob Posner: It might be worth a million dollars.
Lieutenant Disher: Really?
Jacob Posner: If you use it to scratch off a winning lottery ticket.

Natalie: Oh, no. Oh, no, Mr. Monk, your sideburns are fine. They're even. They're fine.
Adrian Monk: No, they're not even. Now this one's longer.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I am looking right at you, and they are even. He did a perfect job. You're even Steven.
Adrian Monk: I knew I should've waited for Sebastian to come back. I feel it. This side feels heavier. I'm gonna be walking around like this. I'm going back.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, you can't. You cannot go back. He said he would call the police. No, stop, stop, stop. Just take your tongue and put it on that side of your mouth. And just balance it out.