Max Hudson: Yeah, seriously, though. Are- Are you married? Because that's a woman I would love to meet. [sexual groaning sound effects]
Adrian Monk: I was married. Her name was Trudy. She died. She was murdered. It was a car bomb.
Max Hudson: Aw, man, that sucks.
J.J. the Joke Machine: Oh, man. That sucks. May she rest in peace.
Max Hudson: Well, rest in pieces. I mean, at least my wife was buried in a coffin. What was Trudy buried in, a bunch of little snack bags?
Natalie: Let me in there!
Little Willie Karelli: Whoa, whoa, Max, take it easy.
Max Hudson: Seriously. You should have called me in. I could've helped you with the case. I'm great with jigsaw puzzles.
Adrian Monk: Are you joking about Trudy?
Max Hudson: "Adrian, I'm wanna use the car now. Go for a drive. What's this button do?" [mimics explosion] I bet you need a whole buncha wipes that day, huh? Hey, by the way, you know the last thing that went through your wife's mind-- the steering wheel.
[Monk jumps onto the table and lunges at Max Hudson]
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk! Mr. Monk! Mr. Monk!
Max Hudson: Thanks for stopping by, Adrian. Come by anytime. Be right back.

Adrian Monk: Did you hear him? Did you hear what he said about Trudy?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, we were in the car. We had to pull over. I couldn't even drive.
Adrian Monk: That wasn't funny, was it?
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk. It was unspeakable.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Here's what I was thinking. Number one, sounded like you got a couple good shots in. I was proud of you. And two, he sounded scared. Scared and guilty.
Natalie: He is guilty.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Twenty-five years to life, that's the best revenge. So let's just take a deep breath. Let's focus. And let's figure out how he did this.

Adrian Monk: [dog barking] Okay. Okay, he was on on the radio. Doing his show and the house was locked.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Locked and bolted from the inside.
Adrian Monk: The little window in the back was open but only eight inches.
Lieutenant Disher: Not big enough for a little person, which has already been established scientifically.
[Monk can't concentrate as the barking continues. He goes to look over the hedge into the next yard, where he sees the neighbor playing with his dog.]
Adrian Monk: Is that a loafer?
Natalie: Yeah, I think so.
Adrian Monk: A brown, Ramato loafer, size 101/2.
Lieutenant Disher: How do you know that?
Neighbor: Oh, uh, hello again. He's not bothering you, is he?
Adrian Monk: No, no. Just curious. Where did he get that shoe?
Neighbor: Oh, hell. It's not yours, is it? I am so sorry. He has a thing for shoes. I don't know where he got this shoe. He, just had it when I got back from our vacation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You were on vacation?
Neighbor: Hawaii. We go every July.
Adrian Monk: Who was watching the dog?
Neighbor: Oh, you're not gonna believe it. I still can't believe it. Max Hudson. He just volunteered. I mean, you think a guy like that would have better things to do.