Paul Buchanan: You're leaving? We're going hunting. I wanted to invite you.
Natalie: No, thank you.
Paul Buchanan: Your parents will be joining us.
Natalie: I can't. I have to take care of something.
Paul Buchanan: Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine.
Natalie: What do you mean?
Paul Buchanan: You know what it's like hunting. Accidents happen all the time. Don't worry. I'll look after them.

Paul Buchanan: All right, give me the page.
Natalie: What?
Paul Buchanan: My father's journal. You stole a page. Give it to me. [Natalie hands over the paper] Put it on.
Natalie: Why?
Paul Buchanan: There's gonna be an accident. I told you, it happens all the time.

Natalie: What- You just- You can't do this!
Paul Buchanan: Oh, I can't? Look up there. See that well? Two weeks ago, I shot my butler and dropped his body in it. You should've gone with me to the prom, Nattie.
Adrian Monk: Buchanan! Lower the weapon.
Paul Buchanan: Melville?
Adrian Monk: Just lower it!
[As Monk fires the rifle in a warning shot, a bird falls to the ground]
Paul Buchanan: Well, you're fired. That goes without saying.

Natalie: Mr. Monk, look, his father kept a journal. He came back before he died.
Adrian Monk: Makes sense. It all makes sense now. His father died of a heart attack, like the coroner said. Paul must have found him. But he had a problem. His stepmother would inherit everything, and he would be completely cut out. Unless...
Natalie: She died too.
Adrian Monk: She not only had to die, she had to die first. Or at least it had to look like it. Because if she died second, even by a few minutes, her children would inherit everything. He got her to leave the house. "Come quickly. There's been an accident." He brought her up to Sweeney Road. And that's where he killed her. Then he set the stage. You were right about the phone call. There was no signal. He had to walk a few miles to call 911. Imitating his father was easy. Mrs. Claridge mentioned he sounded just like him. So it was perfect! They were both dead. And your stepmother had obviously died first.
Paul Buchanan: Who are you?
Natalie: This is my boss, Adrian Monk.

Captain Stottlemeyer: I told you I'd take care of it.
Adrian Monk: What is it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's from the Deputy Commissioner. That's his signature. It says that you, Adrian Monk, are exempt from the current hiring freeze, and when you are ready to come back to work, your badge will be waiting for you.
Natalie: How did you do that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I talked to the man. I laid it all out.
Lieutenant Disher: He threatened to quit.
Natalie: You did?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I was there. It was pretty intense. And I seriously considered quitting.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I wasn't bluffing. I meant it.
Lieutenant Disher: Me too. You could tell I was about to consider it.

Adrian Monk: Leland, I don't know how to--
Captain Stottlemeyer: Buy me lunch, we'll call it even. [Monk goes to put the Stottlemeyer's coat on for him] What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: I was just...
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're not my butler.
Adrian Monk: Oh, right.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're a cop.
Adrian Monk: I'm a cop.
Lieutenant Disher: You're a cop.
Natalie: You're a cop.
Adrian Monk: I'm a cop. I'm a cop.