Captain Stottlemeyer: Would you explain to him what you mean about the battery?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. All right, listen. Okay, he's a doctor, right? So, okay, the monitor... The monitor... Okay, I got nothin', all right? Okay? We're both wrong. All right, he couldn't have taken it with him. But there's gotta be something else. I'm sorry, Captain. It's this damn tumor. I'm losing a lot of blood here.

Dr. Scott: Mr. Monk, I thought I sent you home.
Adrian Monk: I had some unfinished business.
Dr. Scott: This is Mr. Adrian Monk. He's with the police department. I'm sure you all heard about what happened to Graydon Whitcomb?
Adrian Monk: Could you take a look at this, Doctor? This is from an EKG.
Dr. Scott: Yes, I think I've seen one or two of these.
Adrian Monk: Well, this was from last night. Midnight to 3:00 a.m. There are some gaps here and here. It looks like it was disconnected.
Dr. Scott: Eva, explain these gaps to Mr. Monk.
Female Intern: There are gaps like these in any EKG. Anytime a patient rolls over or changes position.
Adrian Monk: Well, what about this one? How long is this gap right here?
Female Intern: 8, maybe 10 seconds.
Dr. Scott: 10 seconds. Not much help, is it?

Female Intern: What's going on?
Dr. Scott: It's almost too absurd. You remember my patient Hank Johansen? 82 years old, osteoarthritis, kidney failure. He is Detective Monk's number one suspect. I think that may not be blood, Mr. Monk. I think you may be losing cranial fluid. [laughter]
Adrian Monk: Yeah, actually, I have a different suspect.
Dr. Scott: Well, that's a relief.
Adrian Monk: This one had a motive. The victim was about to testify against him in a malpractice suit.
Dr. Scott: I hope your new suspect wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor too. Because that would mean he couldn't possibly have done it. Am I right? It would also mean you're wasting my time. Your time may not mean much, Mr. Monk, but my time in this hospital is a precious commodity. Go bleed somewhere else.

Hank Johansen: Soft Serve! What the hell are you doing in my closet?! How long you been in there?! That's it. Now, after my operation, it's go time. In the parking lot, you and me.
Adrian Monk: Mr. Johansen, who assigned you to this room?
Hank Johansen: None of your damn business, you moron. Now, where's my wallet? What did you do with my wallet?
Adrian Monk: Sir, please! This is very important. I am investigating a homicide here.
Hank Johansen: If you touched my wallet, so help me, God, you're gonna be bleeding from more than your nose.
Adrian Monk: It was Dr. Scott, wasn't it?
Hank Johansen: As a matter of fact it was. There was a waiting list, and he had to pull a lot of strings to get me in here. [finds wallet] Oh, there it is. 12, 13, 14. Okay. You're a lucky son of a bitch.

Hank Johansen: [on the phone] Dr. Scott, please. Yes, it's very important. Dr. Scott, this is Hank Johansen. You know that wack-job detective Adrian Monk? He just jumped out of my closet, screaming that you had killed some guy with my oxygen tank. [laughs] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You better do something before he hurts somebody. Yeah, yeah, I know exactly where he is.

Dr. Scott: You said you wanted to be admitted. Your prayers have been answered, Mr. Monk. No, you can't speak or move. Don't even try. You're literally wasting your breath. I've injected 3ccs of tribusonol into your larynx. Do you have any idea what I do here every day? How many lives these hands have saved? How many lives they will save? Hundreds, thousands. That's my mission. It's why I'm here. I am the miracle man. Do you think I would let you, former-Detective Monk, or Dr. Graydon Whitcomb, or anyone stop me? Oh, by the way, I have some good news for you. I stopped that pesky nosebleed. You're welcome. I have some other news, not quite so good. You had an accident. At least, that's what your chart says. You were in a stairwell, you tripped. You suffered a concussion. Possible nerve damage, multiple fractures. Ah, it gets worse. I don't know how this happened. The name on this chart is Dale Butterworth. In four minutes, the day nurse - who is new to this floor - is going to walk in, read this chart, and administer a massive dose if intravenous tetracycline. [Monk tries to groan] Yes, I know about your allergy. Unfortunately, mistakes like this happen all the time.

Adrian Monk: Argh! Son of a preacher man!
Natalie: Oh, God, you okay?
Lieutenant Disher: That's bleeding.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You want to go back inside?
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. I'm fine. Let's just go.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, it could get infected. Maybe we should just go back in there.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, no. Can't do running into the E.R. abut every little thing. Let's just go. Come on, let's go home. Ow! Ow!