Adrian Monk: Garrett, where did you find that paramedic?
Garrett Price: At the crash site. Why?
Adrian Monk: Have you seen him? Do you know where he is now?
Garrett Price: Not a clue. What's going on?
Adrian Monk: I think he might be involved, somehow, in all of this.
Krystal: What did you say? It's you. You son of a bitch! You cost me my job.
Adrian Monk: You cut us off. That's not right.
Krystal: You're a dead man!
Adrian Monk: Wait a second, wait a minute. Look, it wasn't my fault. I mean, it was my fault. But I never thought they would fire anybody.
Garrett Price: [restraining Kyrstal] Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. [to Monk] Let her hit you.
Adrian Monk: What?
Garrett Price: One shot, we got witnesses. Try and take it to the nose. Bleeds like a fountain.

Krystal: [over radio] It's Krystal. Is Danny still there? There's somebody here that wants to talk to him. [to Monk] Click and talk.
Adrian Monk: What do I say?
Krystal: Think of something.
Daniel: [on radio] This is Daniel. Who the hell is this?
Adrian Monk: Hello. How are you? 10-4. This is the guy who called earlier to complain about Krystal.
Man: Yeah, yeah, I recognize your voice.
Adrian Monk: I've changed my mind. I'd like to withdraw that complaint.
Daniel: Why?
Adrian Monk: Well, I was trying to get her fired, because I was mad at her because...
Krystal: I wouldn't marry you.
Adrian Monk: She wouldn't marry me.
Daniel: Who? Krystal? You can't be serious.
Adrian Monk: I love her.
Daniel: Ha!
Krystal: I love everything about her. I love how she drives, which is exemplary. And her smile. And the way she controls her rage.
Garrett Price: No, wait, don't leave. No, come on, she still might hit him. I might hit him.

Natalie: And the next time we go someplace, I think we should leave a little early. You know, to factor in traffic problems, homicide investigations, you getting arrested.
Adrian Monk: That's funny. That's very, very funny.
Natalie: Listen, uh...
Adrian Monk: Oh, by the way, how is your, um... What is it? Your wrist, is it?
Natalie: Forget about it, Mr. Monk. It's never gonna be a two-way street. I'll just have to accept that.

Adrian Monk: You see that dump truck over there?
Natalie: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: That's the one that passed us on the highway. Do you remember?
Natalie: Yeah, he wouldn't honk his horn. He must not be a very happy person.
Adrian Monk: The guy who was killed.
Natalie: Steve Marriot.
Adrian Monk: Marriot, right. I think he was already dead. There's no other explanation. Because his car never passed us. I think it was inside that dump truck. And then it got dumped out in the middle of the highway.
Natalie: By who?
Adrian Monk: By him. The paramedic who was treating you.
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: He's got mud on his boots that matches the mud on the tires of the Volkswagen. He's the guy.

Sgt. Parnell: They're setting up a roadblock 10 miles south.
Adrian Monk: I heard. Is your seatbelt on?
Sgt. Parnell: Yes, it is.
Adrian Monk: Nice and tight. Blinkers! Blinkers!
Sgt. Parnell: Do you understand this is a car chase?
Adrian Monk: Left lane ends 2 miles. Left lane ends 2 miles.

Adrian Monk: How's your wrist?
Natalie: Better. Thank you for asking. You unbuckled your seatbelt?
Adrian Monk: Two-way street.
Natalie: Two-way street.

Garrett Price: Mr. Monk. Adrian. Adrian. [chuckles] Just like the movie. Listen, I wanted to thank you. I needed to thank you. This has seriously been the best day of my life. And I don't respect a lot of people by the way. And I know you don't like to hug, so... [blows a kiss] I'm back, pal.
Adrian Monk: Nice meeting you.

Natalie: There you are. Do you feel better?
Julie Teeger: A lot better.
Natalie: Good. What took you so long?
Julie Teeger: Um, well, I got a tattoo.
Natalie: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Julie Teeger: Mom, it's okay. It's fake.
Adrian Monk: Oh, that's very funny. Well, let's go. We'll laugh in the car.