Sharona: I can't stand that smell.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Disinfectant. It doesn't bother you?
Adrian Monk: No, no. No, I like it.

Lieutenant Disher: I think we I.D'd the torso. We got a report of a missing person. Her name is Larysa Zeryeva. Guess where she's from.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh, one of the Baltic states.
Lieutenant Disher: Which Baltic state?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh... Estonia. [off Disher's look] Latvia. [off Disher's look] Lithuania?
Lieutenant Disher: Lithuania.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, well, who filed this report?
Lieutenant Disher: Uh, Ellen Harley. Zeryeva was her housekeeper. Get this. Mrs. Harley is sure that her ex-husband Paul is somehow involved in the disappearance. And guess what Paul was doing last summer.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Lieutenant, I'm not guessing anymore.
Lieutenant Disher: He was climbing Mt. Mckinley. He's a mountain climber. Monk nailed it. You and Monk. Congratulations, sir. To both of you. But mostly you.

Maintenance Worker: That's a leaf.
Adrian Monk: I know, but as long as you're here...
Maintenance Worker: You think you're better than me, sitting there pointing at leaves? I used to make 210 grand a year.
Adrian Monk: What, what happened?
Maintenance Worker: What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I made a mistake. I took a week off, and they realized they didn't need me anymore.

Adrian Monk: He's left-handed.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's right. He's a left-handed mountain climber.
Adrian Monk: Is he the guy?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, yeah, he's not only the guy, he's almost bragging about it. We got a boatload of circumstantial evidence, but the D.A. will not move until we can I.D. the torso.

Adrian Monk: You killed her in here, didn't you?
Paul Harley: I know you. You're that detective Monk. Yeah, I've seen you on the news, man.
Adrian Monk: I've seen your work, too, on a table in a forensics lab. Did you cut her up in here, too? I'll bet you did. Do you own a chainsaw?
Paul Harley: No.
Adrian Monk: But... You have a spare blade for a chain saw and a space on your pegboard here for a chain saw, but no chain saw.
Paul Harley: Oh, I had one. It broke. I tossed it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: When?
Paul Harley: I forget.
Adrian Monk: You know how DNA works, Mr. Harley? All we need is a speck piece of fiber, piece of skin, a strand of hair that ties the torso they found to this house. You think your house is that clean, mister? You don't know the meaning of clean.
Paul Harley: So what are you saying?
Adrian Monk: You forgot something. You made a mistake, and I'm going to find it.

Adrian Monk: I must've walked for two, maybe three hours. I don't even remember. I, I just found myself there at the crime scene.
Dr. Kroger: Well, it's understandable. You've been a detective for a long time. You can't just let that go.
Adrian Monk: I never appreciated how much the job meant to me. I feel lost. Nothing fits.
Dr. Kroger: You know, maybe it's a blessing. An opportunity. One of my favorite expressions is God closes a window, he opens a door. Do you believe that?
Adrian Monk: Do I believe it's one of your favorite expressions?
Dr. Kroger: No. Do you believe that change can be a positive thing?
Adrian Monk: Huh.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Commissioner, hi, I was just about to call you.
Commissioner Brooks: [on speaker phone] Why? To tell me how you're screwing up the case? I have a press conference tomorrow morning. What can I tell them? Do we have a suspect?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not officially, sir. We still cannot link Paul Harley to the torso.
Commissioner Brooks: You can't find a single follicle or fiber?
Captain Stottlemeyer: We're still at the house, sir. We're still looking.
Commissioner Brooks: It's probably right under your nose. Where did you get your badge, captain? In a box of Cracker Jacks? Are you a police captain or not, hmm?
Captain Stottlemeyer: [chuckles] Yes, I am, sir.
Commissioner Brooks: Then act like one, or I'll find someone who will.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, sir, thank you. I'll talk to you later.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm not even sure that was the commissioner.

Captain Stottlemeyer: So how do you think it's going?
Karen Stottlemeyer: It's great. This is some of the best footage I've ever gotten. So, how do you think it's going?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Karen, it was a big, big mistake.
Karen Stottlemeyer: Then why did you agree to do it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Because you were relentless. You kept coming at me. And I, I guess I was flattered that you asked. Because I love you. But, honey, I have hit a wall with this case. I haven't got Monk. I've got the commissioner all over me. It's embarrassing. Wait, is that thing on?
Karen Stottlemeyer: It's all part of it, Leland. This is a documentary.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Karen, please.
Karen Stottlemeyer: Leland, this is the most important thing I've ever done in my entire life, and to stop now would destroy me, but if you want me to... I will.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, it's okay. It's okay.

Sharona: I'm really happy for you. Really. Congratulations. [Monk shakes his head] What's the problem? It's a great job.
Adrian Monk: I had a great job. I was a cop. That's all I ever wanted to be. I couldn't fix the whole world. I knew that. But I could fix little pieces of it. One little piece at a time. Put things back together. Sharona, I, I need it. I need it. I miss it. I miss it so much.
Sharona: Hey. I miss it, too.
Adrian Monk: It's, it's gonna kill me. Every time I watch the news or read a newspaper or... I'm gonna wish I was there. Even a stupid story like "The Mad Hatter" "The Mad Hatter"?
Sharona: Yeah, remember somebody grabbed the commissioner's hat? Well, he did it again at a parking garage downtown.
Adrian Monk: Was it the same guy?
Sharona: They don't know. He got away. But at least he got his hat back this time.
Adrian Monk: Well, he grabbed the commissioner's hat twice and dropped it? He, he didn't want it? [drops the newspaper]
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: I just solved the case.