Lieutenant Disher: Taxi, taxi! Come on.
Amanda: It's freezing.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, it is cold out here. That's all right. We'll get one. I'm good at getting cabs. I'm kinda like the cab whisperer.
Amanda: That's a nice blazer.
Lieutenant Disher: Thank you very much. It's a gift from, uh... Well, from me. I wish I'd taken the lining out of it, though. Sometimes it gets really hot.
Amanda: Really?
Lieutenant Disher: You're shivering.
Amanda: You noticed.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, I notice everything.
Amanda: Thank you.
Lieutenant Disher: That's my job. I'm a good cop.

Lieutenant Disher: Thanks for waiting, man. Uh, 88 Underhill Avenue, please.
Amanda: You're my hero. Do you want your coat back? Uh, no, why don't you keep it.
Lieutenant Disher: I'll get it in the morning.
Amanda: You're pretty sure of yourself, huh?
Lieutenant Disher: Uh, well, I am a cop. I read the situation. It's all in the details. Noticing all those little things that other people miss. For example, you usually wear glasses. I saw you squinting at the menu.
Amanda: You're pretty good.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah. Well, I've been doing it for years. It's second nature by now.
Amanda: We're not moving. [sees cab driver] Randy, oh my God!

Lieutenant Disher: The coroner puts the time of death around 9:20. Multiple puncture wounds from an antique hat pin.
Adrian Monk: A hat pin? Can I see that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: So, we're looking for a woman that's a start.
Adrian Monk: Oh, your "l" is a little crooked, there.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, it's not.
Adrian Monk: Yes, it is. It really is. It's hanging down on the bottom there. Yeah, it's still a little off. Now it's-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk! This is a homicide task force. You want me to run downstairs and get a t-square so all the letters are even?
Adrian Monk: It doesn't have to be you necessarily. You could send...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk! Could we move on?

Adrian Monk: Are there any witnesses?
McKiernan: Randy was there, so no, there weren't any witnesses.
Lieutenant Disher: I wasn't in cop mode. I was in date mode.

Natalie: She's beautiful.
Lieutenant Disher: Hmm, like Mother Theresa. Only hotter.
Natalie: "Only hotter"? You're gonna get hit by lightning.
Adrian Monk: She didn't do it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How do you know that? We haven't even talked to her yet.

Natalie: What did she say?
Adrian Monk: She's not the guy.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, you keep saying that. But how do you know?
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, check this out. It's from the collection box. A Zemenian ten dollar bill. That's the piece of paper we found in the cab.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nobody bats a thousand, Monk. That's a perfect match.
Adrian Monk: What? perfect? You don't know that it's perfect. Don't you think I'd be the one to know if it's perfect? Well, it's not. Probably.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, we'll go to the lab and make sure it's perfect.

Natalie: Are you okay? You look a little flushed to me.
Adrian Monk: What?
Natalie: You're- You're blushing!
Adrian Monk: No, what are- What are you talking about?
Natalie: Oh, my God! You like her!
Adrian Monk: What? stop it! That's crazy talk!
Natalie: You're staring right at her.
Adrian Monk: No! I'm looking at- Over there. All right, yes. I'm looking at her. Okay, because she fits the profile. But she didn't do it. I'll go wait in the car. And she didn't do it! And that scrap of paper doesn't mean a thing.
Natalie: You like her.
Adrian Monk: I don't like her. And don't say that again! I don't like anybody. I'm gonna wait in the car.

Captain Stottlemeyer: As you can see, all roads lead to our suspect, Leyla Zlatavich. Monk, you can shake your head all you want to, but you're not going to shake all of this away. All the charms on the bracelet match. Her initials, her birthday...
Lieutenant Disher: She works with travelers, she used to dance.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And if that's not enough, and it is, we found this Zemenian currency at the scene.
Adrian Monk: It's not enough.
McKiernan: I don't believe this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, it's more than enough! Look, last year we got that conviction on that guy by virtue of the air he blew into a beach ball.

Adrian Monk: Wait! Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Let me think. [long deliberation] Where's the motive? You need a motive.
Sanchez: She had the oldest motive in the world. She wanted cash.
Adrian Monk: But the cabbie still had his wallet!
Captain Stottlemeyer: She was interrupted by Lieutenant Disher. She didn't realize he was still in date mode. She ran away.
Natalie: Okay, wait- What about the other suspect? You said there were two women who fit the profile.
McKiernan: We checked. The other woman's been dead for seven years.
Adrian Monk: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait. Wait, whoa. Hm. Interesting, right? It's fascinating, really. Let's look at this. Wow. A woman who's been dead for seven years hails a taxi, kills the driver, and then...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, she's the guy. Leyla's the guy.
Adrian Monk: But she's not the guy.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay. Let's put it to a vote. All those who think we should bring Ms. Zlatavich in? [all except Monk & Natalie raise their hands] Those opposed? [Natalie and Monk raise their hands] You cannot vote, Monk!
Adrian Monk: Why not?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Because you obviously have a crush on this woman.
Adrian Monk: What? What? that's insane! How could I like her? I'm a married man. I have not taken this off in 18 years. I love my wife. Everybody knows that! You can all go to you know where. ... Hell.

Natalie: Well, she's just up the street. She's gonna be here in two minutes.
Adrian Monk: Two minutes. She's coming here. Oh. In two minutes, she's coming here. Yeah, you just said that.
Natalie: You're excited. I can tell.
Adrian Monk: Who's excited? I'm not excited. You're the one who's excited. You obviously can't stop thinking about her. I think you might be obsessed with this woman, the way you keep talking about her.
Natalie: I'm not talking about her.
Adrian Monk: Well, you're listening about her. You can't deny that.