Adrian Monk: I can't do this.
Natalie: You can do this. You can do this. Mr. Monk, just concentrate, okay? All right, just try to picture the room. You can do this. You have an amazing memory.
Adrian Monk: Oh, right. I forgot about my amazing memory.

Lieutenant Disher: A guy named Colbert. Jake Colbert. He's a drifter. He lives out by the beach. You think you can I.D. him?
Adrian Monk: Oh, I don't know how. Maybe you haven't heard. I am blind.
Natalie: But you'll do the best you can. Right? You're not gonna give up just because you've been dealt a bad hand.
Adrian Monk: Oh, have I been dealt a bad hand? I wouldn't know, because I'm blind!

Adrian Monk: Okay, if she was watching TV from over there, why is the remote way over here?
Lieutenant Disher: I don't know.
Adrian Monk: I think I do. Captain, here's what happened. Somebody killed her. Probably strangled her, then made it look like she fell asleep on the couch. He probably walked away. Then he stopped and realized he forgot something. Something inside the house.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What was it?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Probably metal. Something that would survive the fire. Something that could be traced back to him. Whatever it was, he had to get it back. But how? The house was on fire. The trucks were already here. The place was surrounded.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He needed a fireman's coat.
Adrian Monk: Exactly. That's what he was doing in the firehouse. That- That's why he stole the coat. He came back here. He looked like one of the guys. Nobody noticed him. Nobody questioned him. He walked right past them, came inside...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Grabbed whatever it was he left behind. [chuckles] Not bad for a blind guy.
Adrian Monk: [facing a wall] I'm back, baby.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you're talking to a doorjamb.
Adrian Monk: I'm back!

Dr. Kroger: You know, Adrian, I just don't know what to say. After you got the diagnosis, you were so despondent.
Adrian Monk: Was I?
Dr. Kroger: Yes. You were catatonic. You were sitting here sobbing, because you thought you'd never be able to look at Trudy's photos again.
Adrian Monk: All I know is I've never been happier. I am at peace. Dig this-
Dr. Kroger: Dig this?
Adrian Monk: Yesterday, the school for the blind sent over a woman to teach me how to get around. She wanted me to count the steps from my front door to the street. I said, "Sweetheart, "I've been counting those steps for five years. 44." So you see, I have been preparing to be blind my whole life.

Lieutenant Disher: Is that your Ferrari out there?
Peter Breen: That's one of them.
Lieutenant Disher: Do you like it? I was thinking about getting one myself. It's either between that or the Ford Festiva.

Lieutenant Disher: Monk? It's Randy. I'm speaking to you. I'm standing right in front of you. Now I'm squatting. I'm about eye level. I just want you to know that we're gonna find the man who did this to you. I'm gonna work on this case 24/7. I don't care how long it takes. Except for May 11th. My niece is getting confirmed, and there's a reception the night before. So I'm probably gonna need... [to Stottlemeyer] I'm probably gonna need that whole weekend off.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So, Randy. Randy.
Lieutenant Disher: From the 11th to the 13th.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I didn't think this was possible, but you're making this situation worse.

Adrian Monk: I'll never see her face again.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, don't say that.
Adrian Monk: Am I crying?
Natalie: No.
Adrian Monk: Oh. Feels like I'm crying. Feels like I'm crying all the time. Natalie my life is over. Forget about me. You have to move on, get another job.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, Monk, this isn't only about you. This is a homicide investigation. A fireman was killed.
Adrian Monk: Rusty.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Rusty. He was a stand-up guy. He'd been on that engine for 35 years, and I'm gonna nail the son of a bitch that killed him. And you're gonna help me.
Adrian Monk: Leland, I can't. I ca- I can't.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I'm not asking you.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, get him up.
Natalie: Come on, you heard the captain.
Adrian Monk: Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming. But listen, don't expect too much from me. I'm no Mr. Magoo.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Magoo?
Natalie: You know, Magoo. The famous inventor.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Magoo.

[As Monk feels the drifter's face:]
Jake Colbert: That's a wart.
Adrian Monk: Oh, God. Wipe! Wipe! Wipe!
Natalie: Yes. Yes.
Adrian Monk: Wipe!
Natalie: Right here, right here, right here.

Dr. Kroger: [leaving voice mail] Adrian, it's Dr. Kroger again. Now, I know you're there, so please pick up. Adrian, you missed your 10:30, and your 3:30. Adrian, you can't stay in your house forever.
Adrian Monk: Wanna bet?
Dr. Kroger: I know you, Adrian. You're probably lying on your bed feeling sorry for yourself. You can't just give up. There are people out there who really need you. Come on, Adrian. [chuckles] You have to get up. Get out of bed. Come on, you can do it. Here we go. That's right. Come on. Come on. Up and at 'em. Okay, go on. Come on, come...