Natalie: We'll keep looking. What about the one that my brother recommended? Dr. Beechum?
Adrian Monk: No, the chairs in his waiting room were too low.
Natalie: How about the man you met yesterday? He seemed nice.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, eye patch! Listen. Oh, come on, listen. Now- You can hear that. It's even louder now! By all that's holy, give us a break!

Lieutenant Disher: I have her, uh, statement right here. Uh, she said the accident occurred around 10:30?
Pamela Moody: That's right, we were driving up to visit, and it must've happened just before we arrived.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me, sorry. Does the fireplace work?
Pamela Moody: As far as I know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you work?
Adrian Monk: It's so clean.
Pamela Moody: I know. My uncle was compulsive about all that stuff. Before his stroke, he was always dusting and cleaning. Polishing everything.
Adrian Monk: Heh. Polishing everything.

Captain Stottlemeyer: According to Miss Drake, your uncle was taking a new medication, Tribiteral. She said it made him disoriented. She said she went to the kitchen. When she came back, your uncle was upstairs on the landing?
Lieutenant Disher: I- I thought he couldn't walk.
Pamela Moody: Well, he could walk some. Short distances. Before she could reach him, he- he must've lost his balance. They found him right there. His neck was broken. [sobs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Here, have a seat. Sit down.
Adrian Monk: You're okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Do you know if the roof is new? Ma'am? Ma'am, just nod your head. Roof? Roof new?
Pamela Moody: Why? What about the roof?

Dr. Bell: I mean, Adrian, I know we've just met. But for what it's worth, I don't think you should be buying a house right now.
Adrian Monk: I can't believe this.
Dr. Bell: I think maybe you're buying this property to avoid dealing with the loss of your friend.
Adrian Monk: Okay.
Dr. Bell: What's the rush? Wait a few weeks. Maybe a year.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Dr. Bell: My- My second wife, she was in real estate. You know, lots of her clients-
Adrian Monk: Can I tell you what I think?
Dr. Bell: Please.
Adrian Monk: I don't think this is working out. I'm sorry. I just don't feel comfortable. And, um, I'm gonna be looking for a different therapist, so... [stands up]
Dr. Bell: Well, I'm really sorry to hear that, Adrian. I really am. So... I thought you were leaving.
Adrian Monk: I can't leave early. Natalie would kill me. [sits back down]
Dr. Bell: Hmm. All right. Well, then, I guess then we'll just sit, hmm?

Natalie: Oh, I love all the woodwork.
Adrian Monk: Hey, don't touch that.
Natalie: What, wet paint?
Adrian Monk: No. Just don't touch it.

Dr. Bell: Uh, our time is up. Next session, let's pick it up right here, all right? What's, uh- What's, uh- What's good for you?
Adrian Monk: Uh, how's 3:00?
Dr. Bell: All right, 3:00. What day?
Adrian Monk: You know, today.
Dr. Bell: Today? That's- That's in two hours. You mean you want to come back?
Adrian Monk: Unless you have something sooner.
Dr. Bell: No, it's completely booked up.
Adrian Monk: What's tomorrow look like?

Adrian Monk: Hey! Okay, what about this one? Here? Yeah?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, those are all closed. What do you want to do? Do you want to solve 'em again? You okay?
Adrian Monk: Just- I'm just tired. I'm tired.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why don't you go home?
Adrian Monk: Can't. Beethoven junior is still at it.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Come on, give me another one.
Lieutenant Disher: Safe water markers are traditionally...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Green and red horizontal stripes.
Lieutenant Disher: Nice.
Adrian Monk: What are you doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, I'm buying a boat next week If my loan comes through. Randy's helping me study for the maritime exam.
Lieutenant Disher: Here's one. What does this mean? Dot-dot-dash?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Morse code. You can skip that.
Lieutenant Disher: You know mores code?
Captain Stottlemeyer: My boys were both Boy Scouts.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah? I was an Eagle Scout.

Pamela Moody: I'm sorry. I'm a little confused. You're from homicide?
Lieutenant Disher: Uh, yes, ma'am. Our office has to sign off on the coroner's report.It's just a formality.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I know this is a difficult time, Ms. Moody. It'll just take a couple of minutes.
Adrian Monk: Real estate agents? Are you selling the house?
Pamela Moody: We don't have a choice. There's no other family. Do you know anyone who's interested? It's a wonderful house, and we're flexible on the price. We just want to sell it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Your uncle had a private nurse named Miss Drake?
Pamela Moody: That's right. We were lucky to find her. She was wonderful.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Are these floors Douglas fir?
Pamela Moody: I think so.

Natalie: I can't believe you bought a house without telling me.
Adrian Monk: You would've said no.
Natalie: Well, let's see what Dr. Bell has to say about it.
Adrian Monk: Why should I care what this clown thinks?
Natalie: He's a therapist. He's supposed to be brilliant. He's written five books and he teaches at Stanford.
Adrian Monk: One minute to go. If he's late, we're leaving.
Natalie: Oh, look. His first name is Neven. N- e-v-e-n. N-e-v-e-n. It's a palindrome. That's a good sign.
Adrian Monk: It's not a perfect palindrome. The first "n" is capitalized.
Natalie: Dr. Kroger's name was Charles. That wasn't a palindrome.
Adrian Monk: Was to me.