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Mr. Monk and the TV Star

‘Mr. Monk and the TV Star’

Season 2, Episode 12 -  Aired January 30, 2004

Monk is convinced the popular star of a TV cop show killed his wife, even though he was filmed talking to the press as the murder happened. Even as Monk insists the actor is guilty, attention turns to an obsessed fan, Marci Maven (guest star Sarah Silverman).

Quote from Sharona

Sharona: Adrian. How do I look?
Adrian Monk: Sharona, this is a murder scene, not a high school prom.
Sharona: Yes, but it was Brad Terry's ex-wife. Brad Terry could be in there. Wait, wait. Do I have anything in my teeth? Huh? [Monk takes a good, long look] Forget it. Come on. Come on.


Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: Ooh, ooh. There he is. There he is. The greatest detective in San Francisco.
Adrian Monk: Okay, you understand he's not a real detective? It's what they call a show.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: I'm sorry for your loss.
Brad Terry: Thank you.
Adrian Monk: I understand you're an actor...
Sharona: Oh. Oh, no, no. Don't be insulted by him. He's never heard of anybody.
Brad Terry: No. He doesn't have to watch my show. He lives it. Right?
Adrian Monk: Well, not really. Well, maybe. [Stottlemeyer chuckles] Yes. Yeah, l-I guess so.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Lee: It's fiber all right. It's some sort of strange, synthetic polymer.
Brad Terry: Lee, speak English, please.
Lee: It's not domestic. It was made in Bolivia.
J: The Santorini cartel.
Adrian Monk: [to Sharona] Santorini? That- That's in Greece.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Brad Terry: What can I help you with, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Well, this is your 100th episode. Is that right? Congratulations. I understand that's a big day for you.
Brad Terry: Thank you. Yeah, a big one. I've been workin' a long time for it my whole life actually.
Adrian Monk: And how does that work? I know that you weren't paying Susan alimony. But, uh, when the show started, you were still married, right?
Brad Terry: Yes, I was.
Adrian Monk: Under California law, she would have been entitled to half of any syndication money.
Brad Terry: You think you've found a motive, don't you, Mr. Monk? Would you like me to take a lie detector test? Would that make you happy?
Adrian Monk: Yes, it would.
Brad Terry: Anytime, anywhere.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Brad Terry: Mr. Monk, are you satisfied?
Adrian Monk: The machine is not infallible.
Brad Terry: Well, neither are you. I've been watching you, Mr. Monk. That's what actors do. We soak people in. I think I got you. It's something like... [closes jacket, tilts head awkwardly, starts pacing with the hands] I don't know what this thing is, but... Tidiness. Everything has to be in complete... Don't you? Oh, I'm sorry. The lamp thing. I don't know what... [touches lamp]
Adrian Monk: That's- That's nothing nothing like me. Nothing at all really.

Quote from Marci Maven

Captain Stottlemeyer: Marci Maven, this is Adrian Monk. He's working on the case with us.
Marci Maven: Yeah, I remember you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Now, Marci, I want you to tell him exactly what you've been telling us.
Marci Maven: I did it. I killed Brad's ex, Susan Malloy.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk. Thank you. Thank you. Now I can take that job. I'm gonna be a police consultant on the show.
Lieutenant Disher: No way.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A thousand dollars for half a day's work. I couldn't have taken the gig until you agreed the guy was innocent.
Adrian Monk: I appreciate that.
Lieutenant Disher: And, uh, I can take the part they offered me. I got a line on the next episode.
Sharona: Oh, my God! Hey, hey, hey. I can bring Benjy to the set. This is great. A thousand dollars for half a day's work?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes.
Lieutenant Disher: Hey. You guys can come to my trailer if you want.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay.
Lieutenant Disher: Wait. You can consult me too. Hey, Monk. Thanks.
Adrian Monk: Hey. Yeah. I think I'm finally gettin' the hang of sixth grade.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: Brad Terry, you're under arrest for the murder of your ex-wife.
Brad Terry: You can't be serious. I was out on the front lawn the whole time. Everybody saw me.
Adrian Monk: You made sure everybody saw you by pretending to be drunk and staging that fight a few days earlier. After an incident like that, you knew the press would follow you anywhere.
Sharona: That was the whole idea. You needed witnesses. [Monk tosses a tape to Disher]
Brad Terry: [on tape] I was at a bar, Eric. Yeah, I had a drink or two. And some peanuts. Listen, stay off the property, please. Leave Susan out of it.
Adrian Monk: Okay. Freeze it right there.
Brad Terry: That proves it. I was outside when she screamed.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, yeah, she screamed, but that scream was 15 years old.
Adrian Monk: [holding a tape] You recognize this? This is the first movie your wife ever made. It took us forever to track it down. The movie's been out of print for years.
Susan Malloy: [on tape: screams] What are you doing! [on tape: screams] What are you doing!
Sharona: Marci Maven recognized the scream 'cause she's seen the movie a hundred times.

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