Captain Stottlemeyer: She's okay. She's fine. Natalie just picked her up. She's heading home. I want a car outside of her house 24/7. Make it two cars. And a uniform at her back door. Course she's gonna feel sorry for him and invite him in. Tell him to stay outside and to stay sharp.

Police Technician: Tape is rolling. [sneezes] Could you hand me a Kleenex?
Adrian Monk: "Kills 99.9% of cold and flu viruses." Only 99.9?

Captain Stottlemeyer: [over radio] Randy, what are you doing?
Lieutenant Disher: My bra's itching. How do they walk around in this stuff?
Police Technician: This is a new low.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Actually, it's not a new low. That's the sad part.

Natalie: [on the phone] It's me again. Please, I need to hear your voice. Call me when you get this.
Dispatcher: [over radio] Tentative ID on the victim is Julie Teeger.
Uniform Officer: Unit Nine, could you repeat the name of the victim?
Dispatcher: Julie Teeger. That's T for Thomas. Teeger.
Uniform Officer: Nine, this has gotta be a mix-up. We're at the Teeger scene on Bose street.
Dispatcher: I don't know what to tell you, buddy. I'm looking at her ID right now. Julie Teeger. The picture matches. It's definitely hers.
Natalie: Oh, my God.

Matthew Teeger: I try to be good, mama. I do. But it's so hard. I need some sugar.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, you could check the kitchen.
Matthew Teeger: I need some sugar, mama. Give me some sugar.
Lieutenant Disher: No, no. What are you doing? I have a cold. Don't-
Matthew Teeger: Hold me. Please just hold me.
Lieutenant Disher: There there.
Matthew Teeger: I've been a bad boy.
Lieutenant Disher: First come, first served. Out of sight, out of mind. There there. Blood is thicker than water.
Matthew Teeger: What are you doing?
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, nothing. Mommy's just trying to remember something, dear. I wish there were ten of them. Repeat, I wish there were ten of them.

Adrian Monk: Natalie.
Natalie: It's not her. It's not Julie.
Adrian Monk: Thank God.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Another Julie Teeger. What are the odds of that?
Natalie: Yeah, sorry about that.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's only a mirror. It's just a mirror.
Natalie: Leland, I'm so sorry. I heard the name, and I just thought Julie-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Natalie, any parent would have done the same thing.

Natalie: It's not her. It's not her.
Adrian Monk: Another Julie Teeger?
Natalie: It's impossible.
Adrian Monk: Very nearly.
Natalie: But this one is totally different. It was an accident. She was a graduate student. She was on her bike. Probably riding home. And some guy hit her and just kept on going.

Adrian Monk: Hmm.
Lieutenant Disher: What is it?
Adrian Monk: Her bike. She has all the safety features. Flashers, two mirrors. She was obviously very careful.
Natalie: So?
Adrian Monk: So what was she doing on the wrong side of the road?

Lieutenant Disher: Monk. Check this out.
Adrian Monk: What is it?
Lieutenant Disher: This bruise, it's square.
Adrian Monk: It's from a trailer hitch. Captain, he chased her Across the park. He hit her. And then he backed up to finish the her off.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He backed up?
Adrian Monk: He ran her over. This was no accident.
Captain Stottlemeyer: There are two homicides. Same name on the same day.
Adrian Monk: Is somebody killing Julie Teegers?
Natalie: Oh, my God.

Mr. Carlson: Ms Teeger, what are you doing?
Julie Teeger: Turning.
Mr. Carlson: I could have sworn we just passed a stop sign. But I must have been imagining things. Just pull over.
Julie Teeger: Sorry, I didn't see it.
Mr. Carlson: I can understand that. They hid it so cleverly. On top of that big post. All right, Miss Teeger, let's be adventurous. Let's try a three point turn. Now, what's the first thing you do?
Julie Teeger: Pray. I'm- I'm just kidding. That was a joke.
Mr. Carlson: You might want to save all your prayers for your driving test tomorrow.