Agent Thorpe: I need to know the exact cause of death and the exact order these wounds were inflicted.
Medical Examiner: Well, he's pretty banged up. It might take a while.
Agent Thorpe: We don't have a while. We have 36 hours, Doctor. This was pinned to the body.
Adrian Monk: "The cleansing has begun. I will claim another victim in 36 hours. 1:00 PM Friday, "then every 36 hours after that. Signed, The Six-Way Killer."
Captain Stottlemeyer: The Six-Way Killer.
Agent Thorpe: I'll take that.

Adrian Monk: I just don't get it. Why 36 hours? What kind of deadline is that? Why not one day? Or one week? And why six ways? It doesn't make any sense.
Natalie: Well, he's crazy.
Agent Keao: We think it's from the Bible. Three 6s, it's the number of the beast.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no, no-- Something's wrong here. I think we should slow down, take a step back, look at the big picture.
Agent Thorpe: I don't care about the big picture. God is in the details, Mr. Monk. It's all right in front of us, right here. If you know where to look.

Agent Thorpe: Welcome to the 21st century, Mr. Monk. What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: I'm just borrowing your blackboard here. It helps me think.
Agent Thorpe: That's a TV monitor!
Adrian Monk: So, it's a combination TV-blackboard?
Agent Thorpe: No, it's not!
Natalie: It is now.
Agent Thorpe: What is your problem? Haven't you ever seen a plasma screen television before?
[Monk uses a spray to clean the TV]
Agent Keao: What are you doing! That's hydrofluoric acid! That's for identifying firearms.

Julie Teeger: I'm worried about Mom going shopping alone.
Adrian Monk: What do you mean?
Julie Teeger: You know, the crazy guy. The Six-Way Killer. Everybody's talking about it online.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine.
Julie Teeger: How come you're not working on it?
Adrian Monk: This FBI agent in charge won't even talk to me. He thinks I'm an antique. He's not wrong.
Julie Teeger: I think you're a genius.

Adrian Monk: Julie, do you think you could teach me?
Julie Teeger: Teach you what?
Adrian Monk: That. Computer.
Julie Teeger: Oh, yeah, sure. It's easy. Okay, so this is called a mouse.
Adrian Monk: Oh, God, I know that. I haven't been living in a cave.
Julie Teeger: And this is a mouse pad.
Adrian Monk: Wow, that is so rubbery. It's outstanding.
Julie Teeger: So, you slide the mouse around like this. And you see that little arrow right there? That is called a cursor. And it's kind of like a little pointer. You want to try it?
Adrian Monk: You think I'm ready? [wipes the mouse off and then cautiously moves it around]
Julie Teeger: Mr. Monk, you can go faster. It's not like it's a Ouija board.

Adrian Monk: [on the phone] Natalie, it's me.
Natalie: Are you okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. I'm great, Natalie! Guess what I did. I was playing solitaire and I won! And the cards are dancing! I think they're dancing! How soon can you get here?
Natalie: What time is it?
Adrian Monk: The time is, uh... Oh, okay, wait, hold on, I-- I got this. Hold on. I know this, I know this. Hold, please.
Yeah, it is exactly 2:55 AM and 44 seconds Pacific time. And 1:55 PM in Moscow. And in Singapore, it- [dial tone] Hello? Natalie?

Agent Thorpe: Mr. Monk, what are you doing?
Adrian Monk: I'm, uh I'm... I'm just booting up. That means "start."
Agent Thorpe: Yes, I know.
Adrian Monk: It's a Dell, so it's fully-loaded.
Agent Thorpe: I'm sure it is.

Agent Thorpe: May I continue?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, you can talk as much as you want. I got tons of memory. It's called bits. Memory, or bits of memory. It's all- It's all the same.

Julie Teeger: [taking her laptop back] Mr. Monk, come on.
Agent Thorpe: You. How old are you? Are you a child or a man?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Thorpe, hang on.
Agent Thorpe: It's my call, Captain! We are men trying to do a job. There's a killer out there. If you can't help, it's your responsibility to step aside. I'm sending you home. Go home now.
Adrian Monk: Here's the-
Agent Thorpe: Don't talk! We're not talking. You don't belong here. Turn around. Do it! Now walk away. That's right, walk away. Keep walking. Don't look back! Good-bye, Mr. Monk.

Captain Stottlemeyer: You're wrong about Adrian Monk.
Agent Thorpe: Am I?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yep. I know he's a little strange and he can be difficult, but I can tell you of at least where all of the evidence-
Agent Thorpe: Captain Stottlemeyer, you're looking at a half billion dollars worth of equipment. Are you trying to tell me that your funny little friend is smarter than all of this?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, I am.