Agent Thorpe: The first digit is obviously a 5. The second letter is either an F or a P.
Adrian Monk: Wait! Wait, uh... Wait, wait-- Saving.
Agent Thorpe: I think I liked you better when you were a dinosaur.
Adrian Monk: I heard that! That's funny. That's enough to make me L.O.L. out loud.

Dr. Kroger: You know it's all over the news, right? The 1:00 deadline, the Six-Way Killer... It's really frightening.
Adrian Monk: I think there's more to it. I'm not sure this guy is a real serial killer. I guess it doesn't matter what I think.
Dr. Kroger: Why, you're no longer on the case?
Adrian Monk: Not just the case. I'll probably never get back on the force. The agent in charge made sure of that. He said there's no room for a dinosaur like me in modern law enforcement.
Dr. Kroger: Well, I'm sorry.
Adrian Monk: I don't know how it happened. At some point, I just got stuck. The world kept turning and changing... Microchips, cell phones, TV screen blackboards... And I didn't. I didn't change.

Adrian Monk: "Dear Kimberly, I am sorry that I inadvertently sent the SWAT team to Kayla's slumber party and made you cry. I'm sorry about the nightmares. It will never happen again. Adrian Monk."
Julie Teeger: Very good. This next one is for Allison.
Adrian Monk: "Dear Allison-- "
Natalie: Mr. Monk, that's going to take you forever. Why don't you just borrow my-
Adrian Monk: No, thank you. I'm fine.

Captain Stottlemeyer: About three hours ago. Happened in the park across the street.
Adrian Monk: She got away, ran for help. I don't know how she made it this far. Is that cognac?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, we got that.
Adrian Monk: She worked for a pharmaceutical company.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's right.
Adrian Monk: She was in town for a convention. Her name is Jean.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Damn, you still amaze me after all these years. How did you figure that out?
Adrian Monk: Name tag.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Name tag.

Natalie: Sorry, excuse me, excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. Here, in case you need some wipes.
Adrian Monk: You're going in there?
Natalie: That's the plan.
Adrian Monk: I'd rather you didn't.
Natalie: Why?
Adrian Monk: Just- I can't- It's hard to explain, okay? Please.
Natalie: Okay, don't think about it. I'll be right back.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, please don't!

Lieutenant Disher: We just talked to the brother. He said she had a date tonight with a doctor she met at the convention.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Did the brother get a name?
Lieutenant Disher: Wouldn't that be nice? No luck. We checked the hotel, 900 doctors registered.
Adrian Monk: Well, we know he wears glasses.
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, we figured those were hers.
Adrian Monk: They're not hers. She was wearing contacts.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, that's a start. We're looking for a doctor who's lost his spectacles. Get those downtown. Maybe we'll get lucky with the prescription.

Agent Thorpe: Talk to me.
Adrian Monk: Me? Well, we just got here. We're sort of playing catch-up. I don't really have any-
Agent Thorpe: What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: I assumed you were asking-
Agent Thorpe: I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Washington. [points to ear piece] Has anything leaked to the press? [Monk is silent] Has anything leaked to the press? Yes or no?
Adrian Monk: I-- I don't know. Like I said, we just got here.
Agent Thorpe: Hold on, will somebody shut this man up? What is your problem?
Adrian Monk: Was that for me about the problem? I- I can't tell. If it's for me, just nod. Nod if it's me.

Agent Thorpe: [over] ear piece] Billy, I'll call you back.
Deputy Commissioner: Agent Thorpe, thank you for coming. This is Captain Leland Stottlemeyer, Lieutenant Disher, Natalie Teeger, and Adrian Monk.
Adrian Monk: Who's Billy?
Agent Thorpe: Well, there must be two Adrian Monks Because the one I've been hearing about is a world class detective. The best of the best.
Natalie: He's just never seen an earpiece phone before.
Agent Thorpe: Where's he been? In a coma?
Adrian Monk: In a coma? No. I wish.

Agent Thorpe: Mr. Monk, what are you doing? What is he doing?
Natalie: I don't know. I don't always know.
Adrian Monk: Sorry, we were working on this case before. We got called away.
Agent Thorpe: That is correct. You were called away. Mr. Monk, we're not worried about her.
Adrian Monk: We're not?
Agent Thorpe: Whoever that poor woman is, she is a side show. This is the primary right here.
Adrian Monk: Here's the thing.
Agent Thorpe: I'll tell you the thing. The thing is over here! That case doesn't exist. I want you to forget about her. Cover her up! Cover her up. Cover her up!

Agent Thorpe: Get the stomach contents and liver tissue to toxicology. I want to know what he ate and where he ate it before it dissolves and disappears forever.
Adrian Monk: He played guitar. Calluses. According to the file, his pockets were filled with coins and tokens. He's probably a street musician.
Natalie: That should help ID him.
Agent Keao: We don't need any help ID'ing him. I just got a hit on the fingerprints. His name is Cyrus Canning, 3337 Folsom Street.
Lieutenant Disher: Good, I'll get a copy of the driver's license.
Agent Keao: Already done.