Justice of the Peace: If anyone present knows of any reason why this couple should not be wed in holy matrimony, let them...
Sharona: This wedding's a sham!
Adrian Monk: That woman's a killer! She's marrying him for his money. [realizes] Sorry. I'm so sorry about that.
Sharona: Oh, th-these things happen.
Adrian Monk: Best of luck to you.
Sharona: Yeah. I- I love your dress.

Kevin Dorfman: Why are we stopped?
Vicki: Oh, you'll find out, in seven minutes. Drink up.
Kevin Dorfman: Huh. I really do love you.
Vicki: Yeah. Well, everybody makes mistakes.
Kevin Dorfman: Yeah. What's that?
Vicki: Oh, it's my inheritance. My husband was killed in a train accident. [Kevin gasps] He was drinking. He fell asleep at the wheel on the tracks. He was killed instantly.
Kevin Dorfman: Oh, that's terrible.
Vicki: Yeah.

Sharona: Your birthday's the ninth, right?
Adrian Monk: What are you doing?
Sharona: I'm playing the lottery.
Adrian Monk: You'll never win. You have a better chance of being hit by lightning.

Kevin Dorfman: Adrian, Sharona, I'm heading out. Wanted to stop in, say ciao.
Adrian Monk: Where are you going?
Kevin Dorfman: Well, my place in Maui isn't ready yet, so I'll be staying at my house in Aspen for a little while.
Adrian Monk: Great.
Sharona: Have you heard from Vicki?
Kevin Dorfman: Who? [cell phone rings] Excuse me. [answers] Bonaduce! Yeah, what's happening, Danny Boy? [to Monk] Hang on. I've got to take this. But listen. I wanted to give you a little something for your trouble.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no, Kevin. No, I, uh I can't take any money from you.
Sharona: Well, I can. Thanks.
Kevin Dorfman: Take care of each other. And remember, you gotta be in it to win it.

Sharona: $400? After I saved his life?
Adrian Monk: You? I pulled the train switch.
Sharona: After I loosened it.
Adrian Monk: You didn't loosen it.
Sharona: It gave a little just before you grabbed it.
Adrian Monk: Why do you say that? Why do you torture me?
Sharona: Because I can.