‘Mr. Monk and the Paperboy’
Season 2, Episode 10 - Aired January 16, 2004
When Monk's paperboy is murdered, he is convinced there's a story somebody doesn't want him to read.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Uh, what are they doing here?
Sharona: What? It's a crime scene. There was a murder right out front.
Adrian Monk: But...
Sharona: They had to set up somewhere.
Adrian Monk: Hello! Excuse me! Don't touch that.
Man: Who are you talking to?
Adrian Monk: Everyone.
Quote from Kevin Dorfman
Lieutenant Disher: How long have you two been going out?
Vicki: Since yesterday.
Sharona: Really? Wow. That's- That's fast.
Kevin Dorfman: Yeah. I've been asking her out all summer long. "No." "No." "Drop dead." "No." But then suddenly last night, "Yes".
Vicki: And I've been saying "Yes" ever since.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: I think there's something in the newspaper he didn't want me to see.
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Maybe an article about another crime he committed. Do me a favor. Go down the street buy me a newspaper.
Sharona: Okay. Okay, but you're coming with me.
Adrian Monk: I can't. If something spills, I want to be here.
Sharona: Adrian, trust me. If something spills, you don't want to be here.
Adrian Monk: That's a good point.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: There's something in here. Something they did not want me to see.
Sharona: Look at the employee of the month. Kevin's new girlfriend. What does she see in him? Oh, I guess you never know. I mean, look who I married.
Adrian Monk: Yes. People used to say Trudy was way out of my league.
Sharona: Do you think they were right?
Adrian Monk: Oh, of course they were.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Boz: How are you folks doing?
Adrian Monk: Do you really want to know?
Boz: No. How about a lottery ticket?
Sharona: Oh, no. You just had a big winner. I never buy a ticket unless the jackpot's more than $10 million, so...
Adrian Monk: Yeah, $10 million. I don't know how they can even call that a "jackpot."
Quote from Adrian Monk
Sharona: What are we looking for?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Just anything unusual.
Sharona: "Hit-And-Run Driver Kills Grandmother."
Adrian Monk: Where did that happen?
Sharona: Laurel Heights.
Adrian Monk: Around 3:00 p.m.?
Sharona: 3:15. Why?
Adrian Monk: Call the Captain. I think I just solved the case.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: You think you're stronger than me.
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: You think you're stronger than me.
Sharona: I didn't say anything.
Adrian Monk: But it's what you're thinking. You think you could take me.
Sharona: Why would I want to "take you"?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. What if one day I went nuts?
Sharona: What if you went nuts? Oh, boy. I really have to use my imagination for that one.
Adrian Monk: I'm just saying, what if? What if... What if I attacked you? Do you think you could take me?
Sharona: I don't know. Maybe I could. But so what? I work out. I take care of myself.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Why, because I couldn't open the car door or or the water bottle? That doesn't mean anything.
Sharona: Fine. You're stronger than me. Okay, you win. Let's just drop it. God!
Adrian Monk: I can bench 200.
Sharona: I'm happy for you.
Adrian Monk: What can you bench?
Sharona: I don't know.
Adrian Monk: But you can't bench 200.
Sharona: What you want to do? You want to fight? Is that what you want to do? Come on, let's settle it right here, right now, you and me.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: You guys all right? You need a referee?
Sharona: Oh, no, no, no. We're fine. I just hurt his feelings 'cause I'm stronger than him.
Adrian Monk: She's not stronger than me. The car door was jammed.
Sharona: If it was jammed, how did I open it?
Adrian Monk: Leverage. It's called leverage.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: Are you Malcolm Cowley?
Malcolm Cowley: That's right.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm Captain Stottlemeyer, San Francisco P.D. This is Lieutenant Disher, Sharona Fleming.
Adrian Monk: And I am Adrian Monk. The Adrian Monk.
Malcolm Cowley: Is there a problem?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I was reading about you in the newspaper.
Malcolm Cowley: Sharona, wipe? I need a wipe here.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's you, isn't it? "It Just Wasn't His Day." It says here that you had two accidents in the course of 10 minutes. First you hit a little tree; then you drove another half mile and hit a lamppost.
Malcolm Cowley: That's right. Is that a crime?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, it is if you were intentionally damaging your car so you wouldn't have to explain a smashed-in grill. See, Mr. Monk found this other article. "Hit-And-Run Driver Kills A Grandmother." Same neighborhood, same approximate time. We thought there might be a connection.
Lieutenant Disher: Captain. Blood.