Mrs. Eels: Marty Eels. E, e, l, s like the fish. He's always wanted to be a detective. He used to stay up late reading hardy boys stories under the cover.
Reporter: So your son is helping Adrian Monk?
Mrs. Eels: Who's helping who? That's the question.

Marty Eels: I love that. Love the, uh, the thing you do with your hands. It's very old school.
Adrian Monk: Thank you. [Marty grabs a piece of mud from the tires and puts it in his mouth] What, what are you doing?
Marty Eels: Mud. You can tell where the car has been.
Adrian Monk: From tasting it. He's tasting the mud.
Natalie: Does that work?
Adrian Monk: No! It's just nuts.

Marty Eels: Captain, how tall was the store manager?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh...
Lieutenant Disher: 5'10" according to his driver's license.
Marty Eels: Somebody else was driving this car because that, that chair has been adjusted for somebody 5'11".
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Excuse me. It's impossible to know that. Seat adjustments are not that exact.
Lieutenant Disher: Should I write down 5'11"?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh, I don't know. Yes. In pencil.

Marty Eels: And this car was driven on Highway 47.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And how do you happen to know that?
Marty Eels: It's all in the details, captain. See the dead bugs on the windshield. This is a gray bantam wing mosquito. Which are most common where? Anybody? Walter Creek reservoir.
Lieutenant Disher: In Livingston. Highway 47. That's fantastic.
Adrian Monk: Bantam wing mosquitoes.
Marty Eels: Gentlemen, let's pop the trunk. Monk.
Adrian Monk: This blood is still fresh.
Marty Eels: Yes, it is. Good for you. Write that down. One for Monk. All right, Gumbal was dragged out of the car. And into these woods. Okey-doke. Here we go.

Marty Eels: These leaves were recently crushed. I'm one-sixteenth Cherokee.
Lieutenant Disher: Cool. I thought he might be. [Marty picks up a stick]
Natalie: Now what's he doing?
Adrian Monk: I can't look.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, he's using a divining rod.
Lieutenant Disher: The Indians used to use them. He's one-sixteenth cherokee.
Mrs. Eels: Ooh, that's my boy. Can everybody see okay? Take lots of pictures. Film is cheap.
Marty Eels: [trips] I've got found the store manager.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Stay back! Stay back! Get outta here!
Lieutenant Disher: Back off, back off. Get these guys outta here.

Marty Eels: That's interesting.
Adrian Monk: What?
Marty Eels: You don't see that? Look at his arms. That is an unnatural position.
Adrian Monk: What? Unnatural?
Marty Eels: I think he was trying to tell us something. With his dying breath, he was trying to send us a message.
Adrian Monk: With his dying breath.
Marty Eels: He was trying to tell us the name of the man who killed him. Look. He's pointing to his watch.
Adrian Monk: No, he's not.
Marty Eels: Captain, are there any perps who do a job like this by the name of Casio?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Casio?
Marty Eels: Lefty?
Adrian Monk: Captain.
Marty Eels: Dial?
Lieutenant Disher: Eddie Dial. He just did seven years in Folsom for kidnapping and bank robbery. He just made parole.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, let's check him out.

Natalie: Mr. Monk, you really are amazing. You're probably the best in the world. And you're right about this Marty character. He's cheating.
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Natalie: He is.

Captain Stottlemeyer: We found the manager's wallet in your motel room, Eddie. It's over. We own you.
Eddie Dial: Look, man, I didn't hurt anybody, okay? I didn't even have a gun.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, two people are dead, Edward. Who did the shooting? I'm willing to bet you it was that guy. Blanchard, Victor P. The two of you were seen together last weekend. Where is he, Eddie?
Eddie Dial: I don't know.
Marty Eels: Captain, may I? [rubs hands, places hand on Eddie's neck] Where's your... Where's your partner, Eddie?
Eddie Dial: I don't know.
Marty Eels: Hmm, he's telling the truth. He, he doesn't know. Do you have a map?
[in the observation room:]
Lieutenant Disher: He's like a human lie detector. I can't believe it.
Adrian Monk: I can't believe it either.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, he's doing it.
Adrian Monk: I still don't believe it. What you see happening in the next room, it's impossible. It's just...

Marty Eels: All right. Now, then, Eddie, where did you hide the jewels? Was it, Was it here? No. Uh, was it here? No. Uh, how about here? Ah, getting warmer. Did you hide them here, Eddie? Ah! Yes. They're in the state park.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Get outta here. I know this area. There's a water tower right here.
Marty Eels: Oh. Oh. [places one hand on Eddie's neck and the other on Eddie's ear] Did you, uh, did you hide them near the water tower, Eddie? Hmm. Bingo! Yes!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Call Dunlop in the Parks Department. Tell him to meet us there. And tell him to bring some shovels.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't know how the hell I'm gonna write this up.

Adrian Monk: He's cheating!
Captain Stottlemeyer: What, Monk? How is he cheating? We've got a suspect who just confessed. He found the car. He found the body. He is solving this case single-handedly.
Adrian Monk: By cheating!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Natalie, what do you think?
Natalie: I believe my boss.
Adrian Monk: Anyway, we, we better go. Should we take one car or two cars?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, why don't you stay here? We're gonna let Marty take this one.
Natalie: Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. You're firing him?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. No. Um, it's just that Marty seems to be in a zone. He's got a handle on this one. You get the next one, okay? I'll call you.