Natalie: There you are. I was getting worried about you.
Adrian Monk: Just get in. Get in. Start the car!
Natalie: Well, what happened?
Adrian Monk: Tell you later. Let's get out of here. What are you doing? Unlock the door!
Natalie: It's a new car.
Adrian Monk: Natalie. Please!
Natalie: It must be this button. I don't know.
Adrian Monk: Forget it!
Natalie: Oh, wait. Mr. Monk, where are you going?
Adrian Monk: I'll meet you back at the house.
Natalie: Wait, Mr. Monk. I got it, I got it, I got it. Mr. Monk, I got it.
Adrian Monk: [keeps running] No, I got it!

Adrian Monk: Any more soap?
Natalie: That's it.
Adrian Monk: No, I mean is there any more soap in San Francisco?
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you've been scrubbing your hand for nine hours. I'm surprised you have any skin left.
Adrian Monk: It's not coming out. I can still feel it. I think it's spreading.
Natalie: What are you doing? Is that kerosene?
Adrian Monk: Light me.
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: For the love of God, light me!
Natalie: Okay, Mr. Monk, I'm not gonna light your hand on fire.

Natalie: You know, he's a nice man, all right? He's in pain. He was crying his eyes out. And, okay, listen to me. He upped his offer. He said he would pay you $25,000. All you have to do is meet him again.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, listen. Let me explain something to you. ... No!
Natalie: That's it? That's your argument?
Adrian Monk: Okay, let's go through it. A, whatever he's asking us to do is probably illegal. B through Z, the man is a leper!

Natalie: [to Monk] Are you okay? Are you holding your breath?

Dr. Polanski: For one thing, it's not called leprosy anymore. It's called Hansen's disease. It's quite rare. Most people are naturally immune to it. And if you do happen to contract it, it's easily treatable with an antibiotic called halazzen.
Natalie: See, I've been talking to this man. He wants to hire us. But he's allergic to halazzen.
Dr. Polanski: Yes, that does happen. Is his condition full-blown?
Adrian Monk: Oh, yes. Yeah. Yes, yes. Yes, full-blown. Full... blown!
Dr. Polanski: Sir?
Adrian Monk: Full-blown.

Natalie: Okay, Mr. Bronson has an affliction. He needs our compassion and understanding. You know what? Let me let you in on a little secret, Mr. Monk. You're no picnic, either. A lot of people would rather not deal with you, but they do. They reach out to you. And Mr. Bronson is offering us a lot of money to do the same thing. And I've been talking to him. You wouldn't even have to shake his hand.
Adrian Monk: Good. Good. Because I would rather die than have to shake his hand again.
Natalie: You don't even have to look at him. All you have to do is go back to that bar and sit and listen to what he has to say. You just sit there and listen.

Derek Bronson: I had an affair. That was my first mistake. She wrote me some letters, which I kept. That was mistake number two. In a week, there'll be a probate hearing. I'll be officially declared dead. The vultures are gonna go through my office, reading every file, opening every drawer. They'll find the letters. The letters themselves don't mean anything to me. But they would destroy my wife. Mr. Monk, I want to hire you to break into my home, find the letters, and bring them back.
Adrian Monk: That's the job?
Derek Bronson: It's still my house. So you wouldn't be breaking any law.
Adrian Monk: Why don't you just do it yourself?
Derek Bronson: I tried. I- I just couldn't do it. That house that life, everything I've lost. It's just too painful. I've drawn you a map. Everything you need. The layout, the security codes.
Adrian Monk: I just have one question. Why me? I'm not a thief.
Derek Bronson: Exactly. You're an honorable man. You won't turn around and try to blackmail me. Mr. Monk, I am at your mercy. I'm reaching out to you.
Adrian Monk: That's okay. I get it. You don't have to really reach. I get it.
Derek Bronson: Will you help me?

Adrian Monk: Be careful.
Natalie: I could use some help.
Adrian Monk: I am helping. I just told you to be careful.

Natalie: Wish we had more time.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. It has to be tonight. The leper said his wife goes into town every Friday to visit her mother.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, please stop calling him "the leper." He has a name.
Adrian Monk: Believe me, he's got other things to worry about.

Natalie: I opened the gate.
Adrian Monk: Good thinking. Okay, hold the ladder.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, the gate is open.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, look. These are the leper's instructions. I promised him I would follow them to a tee. We nodded on it.
Natalie: Well, I'm using the gate.
Adrian Monk: Okay, but don't tell the leper.