Adrian Monk: What accident?
Dwight Ellison: Last month, his personal assistant, a girl named Lizzie Talvo, was killed. Her car went off the road in Bluestone Valley. Roddy took it pretty hard.
Adrian Monk: Bluestone Valley? Val Birch goes fishing in Bluestone Valley. They mentioned it on the show when they introduced him. Val Birch fishes where the girl was killed. He fishes where the girl was killed.
Kevin Dorfman: That's probably important. Did you notice he said it twice?

Kevin Dorfman: Are you okay?
Adrian Monk: I'm fine.
Kevin Dorfman: Why are you making that face?
Adrian Monk: We're in rugged terrain. This is my rugged terrain face.

Adrian Monk: He ordered a new Mercedes-Benz four weeks ago.
Kevin Dorfman: Before he went on the show.
Adrian Monk: That's what I call confidence. He knew he was going to win. If we can figure out how they're cheating, we can nail them both. I have to get closer.
Kevin Dorfman: Closer? Yesterday we were in the front row. You can't get much closer than that.

Roddy Lankman: All right, Tanya, let's get this game started. We're going to start out with a $1,000 question. Where... [buzzer] Adrian.
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry. Um, there was a smudge on my buzzer thing.
Roddy Lankman: Well, I'm sorry, but according to our rule book, you'll have to answer the question.
Adrian Monk: Could you repeat the question, please?
Roddy Lankman: Yes, but unfortunately, only the part that you've already heard, so... "Where?"
Adrian Monk: Where? Where? Once more, please.
Roddy Lankman: Where?
Adrian Monk: Where.
Roddy Lankman: You have 10 seconds.
Adrian Monk: Constantinople.
Roddy Lankman: Well, we're a multiple choice show, so all we need is A, B, C, or D.
Adrian Monk: D.
Roddy Lankman: D?
Adrian Monk: No, B.
Roddy Lankman: B.
Adrian Monk: B. B. Definitely B.
Roddy Lankman: B, and that's your final answer.
Adrian Monk: A.
Roddy Lankman: Uh, well, the correct answer is C, Macy's.

Dwight Ellison: So you figured it out?
Adrian Monk: Yes, sir. I know how they're cheating.
Kevin Dorfman: Was I right about the blinking?
Adrian Monk: No.
Kevin Dorfman: Was I close?
Adrian Monk: No. But it is a code. Lankman is holding the question cards differently every time. If he holds it by this corner, it means the answer is A. This corner means B, and this one's for C.
Kevin Dorfman: What do we do now?
Dwight Ellison: I guess we call the police.

Adrian Monk: Dwight Dwight! When did Lizzie Talvo die? What was the date?
Dwight Ellison: May 2nd.
Adrian Monk: May 2nd. About what time?
Dwight Ellison: Evening, while the show was on.
Adrian Monk: Around 7:39 P.M.?
Dwight Ellison: That sounds about right.
Adrian Monk: Don't call the police. Not yet. These men are guilty of more than just cheating, and I think I can prove it.
Dwight Ellison: You're going to prove it now?
Adrian Monk: If I don't do it now, they might destroy the evidence.

Roddy Lankman: Welcome back to "Treasure Chest." My name is Roddy Lankman, and our reigning champ Val birch is in the lead again with $3,000. In second place, Susan with zero, and, Adrian, you're at negative $1,000.
Adrian Monk: Well, Roddy, I think my luck is about to change.
Roddy Lankman: Well, there's only one way to find out. Let's do round two and dig for treasure. For $4,000, the bone that connects your knee to your ankle is the A, fibula, B, tibia
Adrian Monk: [buzzes] B, tibia.
Roddy Lankman: That is correct. Next question. How many square yards in an acre? Is...
Val Birch: C.
Roddy Lankman: Uh, C is correct. It's 4,840 square yards.
Val Birch: Lucky guess.
Roddy Lankman: A lucky guess indeed. For $5,000...
Adrian Monk: D.
Roddy Lankman: D is correct. Another lucky guess.

Roddy Lankman: You know how we play our game. You have five questions. Let's see how you do. Adrian, who was the first president to win the Nobel Peace Prize?
Adrian Monk: Roddy, I understand I can phone a friend.
Roddy Lankman: You want to phone a friend on the first question. Well, you're the boss. Tanya, let's bring him the phone. For those joining us for the first time, Adrian is going to call a friend to see if he can get a little help on this very important bonus round question. All right, who would you like to call?
Adrian Monk: Well, Roddy, I would like to call... him.
Val Birch: Me? You want to call me? I don't think I'm at home.
Roddy Lankman: Well, Mr. Monk, what are you doing?
Kevin Dorfman: [to Dwight Ellison] Do you know what he's doing? Because I don't know what he's doing.
Adrian Monk: I'm trying to prove that you are guilty of murder, Mr. Lankman, or at the very least, manslaughter. Lizzie Talvo, your personal assistant, discovered that you were cheating on the show.
Roddy Lankman: Uh, can we go to a commercial?
Dwight Ellison: [to the producer] You do and you're fired.
Adrian Monk: She died about a month ago in a car crash, and this man has been blackmailing you ever since, and you have been paying him off, here on your show, by feeding him the answers.
Susan: I knew it. Do over.
Adrian Monk: Mr. Birch, you were in Bluestone Valley the night she died. You must have seen the crash. She was still alive when you got to the car. She had to have said something to you before she died. Something about Mr. Lankman. You must have realized you just hit the jackpot. You called your own answering machine and recorded her dying words.
Val Birch: You can't prove any of this.
Adrian Monk: I was at your house yesterday, and I happened to hear the date and time stamp of a phone message that you had saved May 2nd, 7:39 P.M. I think I can prove it, sir. What's your number?
Dwight Ellison: [over P.A.] Adrian, it's 555-0137.
Adrian Monk: Thank you, Dwight. [dials]
Val Birch: Hi, this is your old pal Val. Leave your message when you hear the beep. [Adrian enters the code] 4..8.
Male Voice: You have one saved message. May 2nd, 7:39 P.M.
Female Voice: It was Roddy. It was Roddy Lankman. He was cheating on the show. I was going to blow the whistle. He cut my brakes. Roddy.

Dwight Ellison: Adrian. You were amazing. Just like Trudy always said. Thank you for this.
Adrian Monk: Thank you for Trudy.