Adrian Monk: What about motive? Motive, that's the reason.
Natalie: Yeah, I know what a motive is, Mr. Monk. Hannigan is planning to Marry Diana Phelps, the boss's daughter. If she knew about Callie, she would've left him and his career would've been over.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, so you want us to go arrest the guy because his name begins with "J," and he might have met her.
Natalie: I have proof.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You have proof?
Natalie: Proof. Proof positive. Ironclad. If anybody sees it, they'll know he did it. Julie.
Julie Teeger: Do I have to do this?
Adrian Monk: Oh, no.
Natalie: We talked about this. This is a murder investigation. It's very important.
Natalie: Okay, cell phones off.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Natalie: Cell phones off. And if anybody has any hard candy, please unwrap it now.

Natalie: So let's go pick him up.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What am I missing here? That's your proof?
Natalie: This is the proof. Nobody who was in that theater who heard that voice could've written this review. He wasn't there. He couldn't have been there. My daughter is not forgettable. Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Natalie, I think Julie is wonderful, and she was wonderful last night. Very poised. But that doesn't necessarily mean-
Natalie: You don't believe me either? Julie, sing it again.
Adrian Monk: No, no... You made your point.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's OK, we got the point. Natalie, listen. You've certainly given us a lot to think about.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Natalie: Forget about it. Sorry to have wasted your time, detectives. Honey, let's go.
Julie Teeger: I'm sorry. It wasn't my idea. I'm sorry.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It was very nice.

Adrian Monk: [answers phone] Hello?
Natalie: Mr. Monk? I'm sorry to bother you.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, are you OK? Where are you?
Natalie: I'm downtown. I'm at the police station.
Adrian Monk: What are you doing here?
Natalie: I've been arrested.

Adrian Monk: I don't understand. Wait a sec. You were in the man's backyard?
Natalie: That's right.
Adrian Monk: Looking through his garbage. What were you doing?
Natalie: I was doing your job.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, it's just a review. It's just one review.
Lieutenant Disher: And Julie seems fine with it.
Natalie: It wasn't a review. I mean, it wasn't a real review because he wasn't there. He did it. I know that he did it.
Adrian Monk: Because he criticized her?
Natalie: Because she sings like an angel.

Adrian Monk: All right. All right. I'll take a look. You can just owe me the money.
Natalie: You owe me the money.
Adrian Monk: Why don't we call it even?
Natalie: How is that even?
Adrian Monk: Oh, if I have to explain that to you, I'm probably paying you too much.
Natalie: You're not paying me at all.

Adrian Monk: Does Mr. Hannigan always sit up here?
Theatre Manager: As a matter of fact, no. That was his first time. Normally he's down here. Fifth row, center.
Adrian Monk: Why did he move?
Theatre Manager: I didn't question it. I figured he wanted his privacy.
Natalie: That important, right? That sounds important. Why was he sitting up here? What's so important about this seat?
Adrian Monk: Ssh.This light's out.
Theatre Manager: I didn't notice it. I'll get the maintenance guys.
Adrian Monk: Hold that. It's not burnt out. Someone unscrewed it.
Natalie: That's something, right? He wanted to make it darker, so when no one was looking, he replaced himself with an inflatable dummy.
Adrian Monk: No, I don't think so. He was moving. I saw him clapping.
Natalie: How about a mechanical man, like a robot?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, maybe. I've got to wash up.

Gilson: Thank you, sir. You've got me curious. Just what is the nature of the of the case you're involved in?
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm here with my assistant, and she thinks that someone snuck out during the play on Saturday night, killed a woman up the street, and then snuck back in.
Gilson: Killed a woman?
Adrian Monk: His girlfriend.
Gilson: And what do you think, sir?
Adrian Monk: Well I thought it was crazy at first, but now I'm beginning to think she's on to something. [they brush each other's jackets] Did you see anything that night, the night we met?
Gilson: No, sir, not that I can recall, but I'm not the person to ask. I don't have the best view of the house.
Adrian Monk: Of course. Well, if you think of anything anything unusual, here's my card. Give me a call.
Gilson: Yes, sir. Good-bye again, sir. It's always a pleasure, sir.
Adrian Monk: Michelangelo.

Adrian Monk: The man we saw that night, the man in the box seats, had a wristwatch, remember? We saw him checking it. John Hannigan doesn't wear a wristwatch. The man we saw in the mezzanine was not John Hannigan. It was the bathroom attendant. They switched places. Here's what happened. Hannigan needed a dupe an accomplice. He tricked Gilson into helping him. He must've said something like, "Could you do me a favor? This is a two-hour show. There's no intermission. I need a cigarette break, but I can't be seen leaving. Could you take my place for a couple of minutes?" When the lights went down, they switched places for eight, maybe ten minutes. Just long enough for Hannigan to run two blocks and throw Callie Esterhas off the balcony.
Natalie: Excuse me. May I say something? I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I got to call Julie.
Lieutenant Disher: Natalie, we can't prove it. Can we?
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's right. All we have is some nicotine gum and a wristwatch. Hannigan's just gonna lawyer up. He'll deny everything.
Adrian Monk: I know. I know, you're right. Where's the proof? [Monk smiles]

Julie Teeger: Mom, I think this is it. It's from the Admissions Office. Dean of Admissions. You open it.
Natalie: No, I can't. I'm too nervous. Mr. Monk, you open it.
Adrian Monk: I'd be happy to. I'll call you later. Let you know what it says.
Natalie: Where are you going?
Adrian Monk: Well, all my letter-opening equipment is at home.
Natalie: No, open it now. Here. Here.
Adrian Monk: Okay. You understand, it's not going to be perfectly straight.

Adrian Monk: Are you ready?
Julie Teeger: Yes.
Adrian Monk: "May 17th. Patricia Green, Dean of Admissions, Department of Theater and Dance, Administration Building. 101 Montley Court, Berkeley, California, 98420. Dear Miss Teeger" - That's you. Wait, that is a nine. That makes the zip 98920. Or is it a four?
Natalie: Read it. Read it.
Adrian Monk: "May 17th"
Natalie: No, read it from where you were.
Adrian Monk: "Dear Miss Teeger, we are pleased to inform you..."
Natalie: I told you so. You're so talented. Of course you got in! We have to go celebrate. Come on.
Adrian Monk: Wait, wait, whoa. Excuse me. I'm not finished here. You can't stop reading in the middle of a letter. "May 17th. Patricia Green, Dean of Admissions, Department of Theater and Dance, Administration Building. 101 Montley Court, Berkeley, California, 98 4 or 9 20. Dear Miss Teeger..." [door closes]