Adrian Monk: Max, stay in the lines, okay? Max, you have to stay inside the lines.
Max: I don't want to.
Adrian Monk: Please. It's... It's a rule. Rules are fun, huh? [takes the paper] Finish that later, okay?

Cindy-Lou: Hey, cats and kittens, what's shaking? I'm Cindy-Lou. I'll be your waitress. Who's ready to roll?
Jared: I'll have an Astro Burger and a Coke.
Max: Me, too.
Cindy-Lou: Yeah. How about you, Pops?
Adrian Monk: Uhhh. Uh, nothing. I'm fine. I'm good. I just ate, uh, nine hours ago.
Cindy-Lou: All right. I'll be back in two shakes.
Max: Say something crazy.
Jared: Hey Max, he's not crazy, okay? He's troubled.
Adrian Monk: Thank you, Jared.

Sharona: What is it with you and this sundial?
Adrian Monk: I remembered something when I was with Stottlemeyer's kids.
Sharona: How'd that go?
Adrian Monk: Fine, fine. Kids love me.
Woman: Oh, my God, he's back! I told you before! This is private property!
Adrian Monk: We'll just be one second, ma'am. Thank you very much. [to Sharona] Call the captain. I solved the case.
Woman: Go!
Sharona: Who? What, she did it?
Adrian Monk: No. I wish she did.
Sharona: You solved it with the sundial?
Adrian Monk: The sundial is the key.

Adrian Monk: He kept a handgun in here. A gun he had to get back.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why?
Adrian Monk: I- I don't know. Obviously, it it connected him to something. Something worth killing for. Here's what happened. On Monday morning, the sound of the tow truck must have woken him up. His car was being repossessed. He knew that if the car ever got to the impound lot, they'd find his gun. Somehow he had to stop that truck. He had less than a minute to come up with a plan. He didn't have time to get dressed or put his shoes on, which explains the footprints. The truck had to go all the way back through town to reach the highway. He knew that if he ran, he could head it off. That's how the dog got loose and how the sundial next door got turned around. He cut through the backyards, across the edge of the park, climbed through the chain-link fence, and waited for the tow truck. Then...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I know what happened after that.
Adrian Monk: Right after the crash, he retrieved the gun.
Sharona: There was a gravel road, and he didn't want to walk home barefoot. So before he left, he stole the dead driver's shoes. And somehow he managed to get out of there without anyone noticing him.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, what about the second shooting at the truck depot?
Adrian Monk: Strictly for our benefit. He wanted us to keep thinking it was a union thing.

Evan Coker: You wanna come in?
Sharona: Well, actually I'm not alone. I have a few friends with me.
Evan Coker: Great. The more the merrier. What's going on?
Sharona: It's a warrant. My friends wanna look around.
Evan Coker: Look for what?
Sharona: A rifle, a handgun, maybe a pair of shoes taken off a dead truck driver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you know who I am? I'm Leland Stottlemeyer.
Evan Coker: I read about you, uh... How's your wife?
Captain Stottlemeyer: My wife is gonna be fine. The doctors saved her life. You should call them and thank them, because they saved yours too.

Adrian Monk: [points to Stottlemeyer's holster] You might wanna let the lieutenant hold that for you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why? Are you afraid I'll use it?
Adrian Monk: I would.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I understand now, Monk. You can't let it go, can you?
Adrian Monk: No.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Don't ever lose that watch.
Adrian Monk: I won't.

Adrian Monk: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's garbage day! Hey! Stop! Stop the truck!
Sharona: What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Hold it. Hold it there.
Garbage Man #2: Oh, my God, Mo', it's him, man.
Garbage Man #1: How'd he find us?
Adrian Monk: Leave that garbage!
Garbage Man #2: Let's just go, man. Let's just go.
Adrian Monk: Don't- Wait up! You've got the gun.
Garbage Man #2: Go! Go! Let's get out of here!
Adrian Monk: Wait! Don't go! Don't go! Wait!
Woman: That guy is demented.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Did Adrian Monk just jump into a garbage truck?
Sharona: Yeah.

Karen Stottlemeyer: Oh, I missed you so much. I love you fellas.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Smile.
Karen Stottlemeyer: Oh, my. Where did you get that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I bought it.
Karen Stottlemeyer: A digital camera! Oh, Leland! But we can't afford it, and the other camera was not even insured.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's only money.
Karen Stottlemeyer: "Only money"?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah.
Karen Stottlemeyer: Who got hit on the head, me or you?
Captain Stottlemeyer: That would be me. [they kiss]