Emily J.: You iron your shoelaces?
Emily C.: Why are there three?
Adrian Monk: Right, left, backup. No, wait a second. This is the backup. So, that's, uh, right, left...
Emily J.: I- It doesn't matter.
Adrian Monk: You're right. It doesn't matter. Left, this is the right one.

Natalie: Will you just wait out front and I'll meet you there?
Julie Teeger: Thank you so much, Mr. Monk!
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Yeah. Stay in school. Don't take dope.

Adrian Monk: This place makes me uncomfortable.
Natalie: Oh, Mr. Monk. It's just a high school.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, high school wasn't the best year of my life.

Adrian Monk: Oh, but look at these. Amazing. Look at that one. State champions.
Natalie: Okay, it's very nice.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah, look at this one.
Natalie: Yeah, they're all very nice.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, look at that. Look at this. These, these two! I could never believe that they would just leave them sitting in the hallway right next to the exit. I always felt they should be locked away in a vault somewhere.
Natalie: Why? Who's gonna take a bunch of old trophies?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Maybe somebody who's never won anything in their whole life. Somebody whose mother cleared off a mantel in the living room, just waiting for one of these. Whose mother came to every track meet, even when she was sick. Even when she was dying. Maybe somebody like that. Natalie, I'm talking about me.
Natalie: I know, Mr. Monk. Let's go.

Natalie: Okay, the valve under this sink was loose. And the water was leaking. And then the hairdryer was plugged into here.
Adrian Monk: I thought these outlets had built-in circuit breakers.
Natalie: Yeah, I thought so too.
Adrian Monk: That's funny. Look at that paint job. You can see the brush marks.
Natalie: Yeah, they don't line up.
Adrian Monk: There's no dust on the top of that. Natalie. [takes Natalie's finger and wipes it along the bottom of the outlet] Dust on the bottom? You're gonna need a wipe for that. Yeah, I think somebody took off this plate. And put it back on upside down. Get ready. Yeah, that- That's a loose wire.
Natalie: Do you think somebody could've unscrewed that on purpose?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. So the towel fell here? On top of this drain?
Natalie: Yeah, that's right.
Adrian Monk: Seems like the coach ran into a lot of bad luck in this room all at once.
Natalie: Well, I guess that's how it happens sometimes.
Adrian Monk: Yes, to me, but this happened to somebody else.

Natalie: Yeah, you know, I've been watching you guys all year. You guys are great. And if we practice and focus really hard, I think we have a shot at bringing home that trophy.
Adrian Monk: There's- There's a trophy?
Natalie: If we win.
Adrian Monk: Does everyone get one?
Julie Teeger: Well, the whole team gets a big trophy. And then everyone gets little statues.
Adrian Monk: Even the... Even the...
Natalie: Yes, Mr. Monk. Even you would get a little trophy.
Adrian Monk: Would it have my... My, um...
Natalie: Yes, Mr. Monk. It'll have your name on it.

Park Ranger: Well, it's pretty obvious what happened. This is the point of origin.
Adrian Monk: [blows whistle] Natalie, right here. Point of origin. [whistle] Please go on.
Park Ranger: Well, somebody was here camping out unauthorized. Without a permit. And apparently the wind shifted from east to north.
Adrian Monk: [whistle] East to north. Got it. [whistle] Continue please.
Natalie: It's his first whistle.
Park Ranger: Well, the brush around here was bone dry. So those branches probably caught first. And then they spread downwind. And then once it hits the valley, well, there's no stopping it.
Adrian Monk: So the fire was moving... [whistle] Up the hill, that way.
Park Ranger: Yeah, are you with the arson squad, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: No, no. This is a private investigation. And call me Coach. Coach Monk.

Natalie: That's a nice photo.
Aaron Hayden: Thanks. The school asked a picture so they could hang it up in the girls' locker room.
Natalie: It's beautiful. It'll mean a lot to the girls.
Adrian Monk: Except the frame is broken. It's got a crack there.
Aaron Hayden: I know. I was gonna fix that.
Adrian Monk: Or you could buy a new one.
Aaron Hayden: Oh, that's okay. I'll just fix it. It's no big deal.
Adrian Monk: But you could just buy a new one, a nice, new frame. Yeah, let's do that.
Natalie: No, no, he said he was gonna fix it.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, well, it's up to you. But you could just buy a new one. A nice, new frame, crack-free. In honor of your sister. Your dead, beloved sister.
Natalie: Okay, we're done here. Thank you, Aaron. Let's go.
Adrian Monk: Let's go. We're going. Thank you. We're passing a frame shop. I could just pop in. My treat.

Julie Teeger: Um, okay, I wrote down a few questions.
Lieutenant Disher: I'll go first.
Julie Teeger: Okay.
Lieutenant Disher: All right. Bring it on. Quest-i-on number one.
Julie Teeger: Okay. What does DNA stand for?
Lieutenant Disher: DNA. Dexoc-- Dexochl-- Das- DNA.
Julie Teeger: You don't know.
Lieutenant Disher: It's a chemical. DNA. Dennis-- acid.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Deoxyribonucleic acid.

Julie Teeger: Who discovered DNA?
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, I got it. I know this one.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Good.
Lieutenant Disher: Whish-- ah. Wall-- Will-- Will-- Actually, nobody really knows.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Watson and Crick.
Lieutenant Disher: Watson and Crick.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Two British scientists.
Lieutenant Disher: From England.