Marci Maven: You know what I love? I love how you solve cases. The way you move around and you look at things. And you see things no one else sees. I love that. I mean, you really are a great artist.
Adrian Monk: Well, a great artist... I don't know about that. I mean...
Natalie: [scoffs]
Marci Maven: Is there a problem?
Natalie: No, no, no. He's a great artist.

Adrian Monk: Marci, are you a musician?
Marci Maven: Oh, ho, ho. You know I am! I've only sent you all my demos. I'm working on a song. Here. [sings] There's a man in California If you're ever in a funk He may not be F. Murray Abraham But I think he's a hunk And his name is... Adrian Adrian I said A... Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Marci, on second thought, why don't you tell me about the case?

Adrian Monk: I'm sorry. Can we start over? You had a dog. His name was Otto.
Marci Maven: Yep, that's right.
Adrian Monk: And Otto died last week?
Marci Maven: Monday, yeah. Well, I buried him Monday night.
Adrian Monk: So he's in the ground, dead. Dead, dead dog.
Marci Maven: And then three days later, on Thursday, the woman across the street was attacked?
Natalie: By- By a dog.
Marci Maven: Yeah, she was mauled. Isn't that the grossest word? "Mauled." "Mauled." I mean, Otto had snapped at her last year, but it wasn't a big deal. But of course, the cops naturally think that he did it. So they dug him up to compare the teeth marks.
Adrian Monk: And they matched.
Marci Maven: Yeah. Well, that's what they say. They're gonna return him tomorrow. I guess I'm gonna have to bury him again.

Adrian Monk: So to recap, the dog dies on Monday, then three days later, kills your neighbor.
Marci Maven: Pretty freaky, huh?
Natalie: And the dog was definitely dead when you buried him.
Marci Maven: Yeah, the dog was definitely dead when I buried him. What do you think, I'm a nut?
Natalie: Uh...

Marci Maven: What is this? Is this blood?
Adrian Monk: Ssh. You've been shot.
Marci Maven: Oh, my God! I've been shot!
Adrian Monk: Ssh. It's okay. It's just a scratch.
Marci Maven: What am I doing here?
Adrian Monk: Shut up.
Marci Maven: This isn't fun anymore. Why did you bring me here?
Adrian Monk: I didn't bring you here!
Marci Maven: I don't wanna do this. I hate this. [waves white monogramed wipe] Excuse me pause. Pause, please. If we could just put a pause on this for a second. Uh, I wanna go home. And I know... But I am absolutely not gonna say anything about you killing your wife. It's no biggie. I mean, she was asking for it. I've seen her out there. I'm your neighbor. I've seen her in the garden with her flower pot going blah, blah, blah. My gardenias are awesome. So I'm just gonna go.
John Ringel: Yeah, I don't think so!
John Ringel: Monk! Come on out! I have your girlfriend!
Marci Maven: I'm not his girlfriend. I don't even like him anymore.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Marci Maven, this is Adrian Monk. He's working on the case with us.
Marci Maven: Yeah, I remember you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Now, Marci, I want you to tell him exactly what you've been telling us.
Marci Maven: I did it. I killed Brad's ex, Susan Malloy.

John Ringel: Can I help you? Oh, it's you! Why can't you just leave me alone?
Adrian Monk: Mr. Ringel, I'm very sorry for your loss. I wonder if I could ask you a couple of questions. Did you actually see Marci's dog on that day?
John Ringel: We know it was her dog. He crawled in under the fence. You can still see the hole. I talked to the cops. All the teeth marks match. And who the hell are you?
Marci Maven: This is Adrian Monk, okay? And he happens to be a genius.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, Marci, don't. Don't.
Marci Maven: If you have anything to hide and I have a hunch that you do he's gonna find it he's already found, like, a million clues tell him.
Natalie: Okay, Marci, let's just leave this man alone.
Marci Maven: You did it! You killed her. You are in big trouble, mister. Big trouble because Adrian Monk always gets his man, friend.

Adrian Monk: Ladies, let's settle down. I think we might have an actual murder on our hands.
Marci Maven: Oh, woo-hoo!
Adrian Monk: Exactly. Woo-hoo. Let's just think for a minute, okay? Tell me about the dog. How did he die?
Marci Maven: Kidney failure. He went really quickly.
Adrian Monk: Before he passed, did anything unusual happen?
Marci Maven: Oh, yes! About two weeks ago, he disappeared for a whole day. I couldn't find him. I was worried sick. I was putting up posters everywhere. And then around 6:00, he just showed up.
Adrian Monk: And you have no idea where he was?
Marci Maven: No. He was covered in woodchips, though. Is that important? It took me an hour to brush it out.
Natalie: You still have the brush?
Marci Maven: The brush? [chuckles] Please.
Adrian Monk: Actually, that's a good idea.
Marci Maven: I'll get it.

Adrian Monk: It's teak. Mahogany. Lumber yard. [Marci gets excited] Oh, no.
Marci Maven: We have to now. It's tradition. [hugs Monk]

Natalie: "Fire hydrants to be painted." Look at this. "More rain expected Thursday." "Garden club to meet." It's so boring. Why would you save all this?
Adrian Monk: Well, maybe... I have no idea.