Dr. Scott: Okay, I'm not going to touch you. Relax.
Adrian Monk: Here's the thing. I went to the emergency room.
Dr. Scott: Let me guess, they tried to cauterize it, and it didn't take.
Adrian Monk: Exactly. And there was this woman in the waiting room. She said that her stepbrother-
Dr. Scott: Had the exact same symptom.
Adrian Monk: Yes.
Dr. Scott: And now you've convinced yourself there's some kind of tumor.
Adrian Monk: You think it's a tumor? He said tumor. He said the word "tumor." You heard him, and I knew it. I knew it. I can feel it. It's right back here. It's like the size of a basketball. For the love of God, can I get a room?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, that's not what he meant.
Dr. Scott: Mr. Monk, you don't have a tumor. Relax. Take a breath. Now, these conditions often have psychological components. Are you under a lot of stress?
Adrian Monk: I wouldn't say that.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I would.