Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Johansen, there was a homicide last night on the fifth floor. We're investigating it.
Hank Johansen: Good for you.
Lieutenant Disher: Sir, a man was beaten to death with that oxygen tank. Your oxygen tank.
Hank Johansen: What the hell are you talking about?!
Lieutenant Disher: Where were you last night between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 a.m.? [Johansen signals for Disher to come closer] Where do you think I was?! What is this, your first day with a new brain?
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Hank Johansen: I was here! Hooked up to this damn machine. Beep, beep, beep. You see Dr. Scott, you tell him I want this thing unhooked. It's driving me mental.
Adrian Monk: Who-- Who's Dr. Scott?
Hank Johansen: Dr. Davis Scott is taking out half my colon on Wednesday. And he's the second-best surgeon in California. And that's not my opinion. That's a fact. Soft Serve, I know my rights. And you people can't just waltz in here and... [falls asleep]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Soft Serve, come here.
Lieutenant Disher: Crime Scene's on their way, and the floor is secure.