Adrian Monk: You hear that again?
Jack Monk: Yeah. Normally I'd check, but we're screwed if we don't reach Phoenix. We gotta drop this load and get to Yuma by 4:00.
Adrian Monk: Yuma? But we just went through Yuma. Why didn't we stop there first?
Jack Monk: Don't ask me. Ask the itinerary.
Adrian Monk: "San Francisco, Phoenix, Yuma, Tucson, Carson City." Well, that doesn't make any sense. We're zigzagging back and forth. What are we carrying?
Jack Monk: Toys. Can you believe it? I got two bosses. Partners. One of them, Ben Glaser, he marches into the office last Tuesday and he announces that he has found religion. Just like that out of the blue. This is a guy who never set foot in a church before. Then he goes and buys a bunch of toys. He loads up the truck, and he offered me five grand to drive around and hand them out. I feel like Santa Claus. I even got a costume back there. Hey, you wanna be my elf?
Adrian Monk: But why are we zigzagging like this? It makes no sense.
Jack Monk: I asked him. He said he moved around a lot when he was a kid. Foster homes, orphanages. He wanted to retrace his steps city by city. What do I know? He's the boss.