Security Guard: Whoa, whoa, calm down. We got a police emergency here. This guy needs to talk to the crowd.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me, hello. I don't mean to kill your buzz.
Man: [o.s.] Go home!
Woman: [o.s.] Yeah, get out of here.
Adrian Monk: I am a former police officer. [crowd boos] Thank you, thank you very much. Take it easy. Everybody chill. That blue beach ball contains material evidence in a homicide investigation. So we need you to bring the blue beach ball down to the stage.
Man: [o.s.] Hey, you suck!
Adrian Monk: Yes, I know. I know. It's true. I am a straight. But I have a dream. A dream that someday all the hippies and all the straights can live together side by side. Not too close. Because, you know, the smell.
Man: [o.s.] Go home!
Adrian Monk: You know, the hippie smell. Okay, okay, people, I need that ball! I'm not joking!
Crowd: [chant] Music! Music!
Adrian Monk: All right, that's it. That- That's obstruction! You're all under arrest! If you cannot afford an attorney...