Dr. Madero: Senor Monk! You said you ruined my life. That is wrong. You stole it! I made one foolish mistake. Nobody even noticed. Who the hell are you to point your finger at me?
Capt. Alameda: Who is he? He is a police officer, and a damn fine one! Keep your eye on him, Lieutenant. He is the primary suspect in two homicides.
Adrian Monk: Actually three. Three homicides. Don't forget the boy the killed last year.
Dr. Madero: [screams]
Lt. Plato: The wild lion?
Adrian Monk: Exactly. He fabricated that too. Only it didn't work, 'cause no one called me. So he waited a year and tried again.
Capt. Alameda: All this because you smelled menthol cream on the curtains?
Adrian Monk: Actually, I've been thinking about Madero for a while. He claimed he had never been to the United States. [car starts moving] Then he said there was a pint of water in the boy's lungs. He didn't say half a liter. He said, "A pint." Only a person who practiced in the United States would have said that.
Capt. Alameda: Senor Monk, I want to say, it has been an honor to work side by side with such an accomplished detective...
Sharona: Mail it to us!