Captain Stottlemeyer: Doctor, give me the good news.
Medial Examiner: He was clutching some hair. He must have grabbed it off the killer's head. That means we have a good shot at some DNA.
Adrian Monk: How could he grab any hair? We just saw the tape. The intruder was wearing a hood.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, it could've fallen off during the fight.
Medical Examiner: It gets weirder. The victim wrote you a note.
Lieutenant Disher: "Ow." Why would anybody write "ow"? Usually that's something you'd say. [Monk moves the victim's hand] Oh, my God. Chow. He's alive. Sir, the rumors are true. He's been hiding out overseas, just waiting for the right time to make a comeback. Captain, he's alive.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nah. Nah, there's got to be another explanation, right?