Adrian Monk: Is that gum on your shoe? How much would you give me to eat this?
Lieutenant Disher: Five bucks. [Monk puts the shoe to his mouth]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, for god's sake! Monk, that's disgusting!
Natalie: Spit it out. Please, spit that out right now.
Adrian Monk: Five bucks.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, all right. He earned it.
Adrian Monk: Wait a minute. She is a liar, Stottlemeyer. She's a big, fat liar. And I can prove it.
Sally Larkin: Do I have to listen to this?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No ma'am, you do not. Natalie, I said one more peep.
Adrian Monk: But she made the whole thing up. I can prove it!
Natalie: Just a minute. Tell me in the car.
Adrian Monk: You are in a lot of trouble, facelift. You are going to jail.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Get him out of here!
Adrian Monk: You are a bad lady.
Natalie: You know what? And you're a bad boy. All right? We're gonna go home. You need a time out.
Adrian Monk: Don't you wanna hear how I figured it out?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I do not!
Adrian Monk: All right, fine! I'm not gonna tell ya! I'm not gonna tell any of you, because. Because I hate you. And by the way, you're all stupid. And you don't deserve to know the truth. And also by the way, you're never gonna see me again. Ever. 'cause I'm going to France. Come on, Hoppy. You're not stupid.