Captain Stottlemeyer: I see you're still in touch with some of your old parolees.
Lieutenant Disher: Thought you retired.
Michael Kenworthy: Well, I call 'em when I can. They're good guys.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I know some of these good guys. Burglary, grand theft auto, attempted murder.
Michael Kenworthy: I help 'em out when I can. What can I say? Everybody deserves a second chance, right? [chuckles] What?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What were you doing up there Michael, on that roof?
Michael Kenworthy: Just givin' away some toys. What can I say? I love Christmas!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Come on, Buddy. There's nobody here. It's just you and me.
Lieutenant Disher: And me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And him.
Michael Kenworthy: Is that why you're here? To accuse me of something? Why don't you take a hike? Both of you! That gun was found in your friend's back yard, not mine.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, that may be true. But here's the problem, Kris Kringle. Either you're lying or Adrian Monk is lying.
Lieutenant Disher: Merry Christmas.