Captain Stottlemeyer: You're tracking down his ex-wife?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, and getting him a job. Natalie's father's gonna give him some work on the loading dock there.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why don't you just adopt this guy and make it legal?
Adrian Monk: You don't understand what it's like. I feel so responsible.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, it must be tough. I mean, I wasn't involved in the case, but I can certainly appreciate... Well, I mean I can imagine what you must be going through.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why don't you just make a t-shirt that says, "It wasn't me"?