Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Bad Girlfriend
Adrian Monk: [over intercom] Excuse me. Could you fix the blinds, please? Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't feel like it. Adrian Monk: I wasn't talking to you. Ma'am? I'm gonna need you to fix the blinds at this time. Helen Hubbert: Who is that? Adrian Monk: I'm with the FBI. In Washington. Natalie: Stop it. Adrian Monk: D.C. Watching you on my computer. Screen. Captain Stottlemeyer: Don't listen to him, ma'am. He is not- Adrian Monk: Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to fix the blind. And while you're at it, pick up the Styrofoam pieces scattered about the room. Captain Stottlemeyer: He is not a federal agent. Adrian Monk: Yes, he- I am. Captain Stottlemeyer: No, he's not. He's an ex-cop who hates himself and hates his life and isn't happy unless everybody else is as miserable as he is!