Jack Monk: Hey, how are you?
Adrian Monk: How am I? Is that what you said?
Jack Monk: Yes, how are you? That's a rather conventional salutation. In Texas, people use it all the time.
Adrian Monk: Texas?
Jack Monk: Yeah, yeah, Midland. I got a place in Midland, but I'm hardly ever there. I'm driving 18-wheelers. Long hauls. "I travel for travel's sake to come down off of this featherbed of civilization." Robert Louis Stevenson.
Adrian Monk: Jack, I don't want to hear it. You called me. I'm here. What do you want?
Jack Monk: For one thing you can call me "Dad."
Adrian Monk: No.
Jack Monk: I'll settle for "Pops." "Pappy?" You know, forget about it. I'm getting used to Jack. What do I want from you? Two things. A, forgive me. Forgive your father. I was negligent. I was selfish. And I'm very sorry. B, get me the hell out of Dodge. But if you can do one, I'll take B. I gotta be in Phoenix early in the morning.