Captain Stottlemeyer: Heck of a thing, huh? Actually, it's kind of flattering if you think about it. He picked me because he knew that I would react. 'cause he could tell how much I love you.
Karen Stottlemeyer: It's not flattering, Leland.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, Karen. I know that I've got a temper, but I've been working on it. I've got a yo-yo. Actually, I, uh, the yo-yo broke when I threw it at the guy.
Karen Stottlemeyer: Why didn't you believe me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I had Monk follow you yesterday afternoon. He saw you meeting a man.
Karen Stottlemeyer: You had me followed?
Captain Stottlemeyer: You wanna tell me about him?
Karen Stottlemeyer: His name is Max Tepperton. He's a divorce lawyer.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You've been sleeping with a divorce lawyer? You know what? It doesn't matter. Because I forgive you, Karen. Hell, I'm no saint. We'll get past this.
Karen Stottlemeyer: No, Leland. He's representing me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Stottlemeyer vs. Stottlemeyer. Why?
Karen Stottlemeyer: Because you have to ask why, Leland. That's why.