Claire: Hey, hot stuff. Where's your boy toy?
Janice: Oh, he's making a phone call. Got to say, though, I feel kind of awkward because, turns out, he's related to Gloria.
Claire: What?
Janice: [cellphone chimes] My daughter. I have to handle this. Sorry.
Manny: Claire, I have big news.
Claire: Oh, God. If it's what I think it is, I don't know if that's a good idea.
Manny: I know. People will say I've taken my love of old things too far.
Claire: Mm-hmm.
Manny: But I'm happy. And not to brag, but I'm the first Latino to get in there.
Claire: Oh, boy. I feel sort of responsible for this.
Manny: Um, I think it has a little more to do with my performance. I distinguished myself when I did literally all the girl parts.
Claire: I need to go splash some water on my face.

Claire: Wait a minute. Have you been doing sit-ups?
Manny: Oh, every night for stamina. I would not have been able to perform without it. I even threw in some tongue exercises because my "Shrew" was taking forever.

Claire: Dad, what are you hiding from?
Jay: You'll know after I tell you what I said to that woman from the club. [sighs] What is she doing here?
Claire: She's trying to get you out of those clothes.
Jay: You know?
Claire: Yes! We talked about it at yoga. It was Gloria's idea. I just came along to grease the wheels.
Jay: What?! I was almost considering it until you added that part. I gotta splash water on my face.

Luke: Hey, Ma.
Claire: Luke... Luke, get your hands off Manny's girlfriend.
Manny: That's not my girlfriend.
Claire: What? Then what were we just talking about?
Manny: The Elizabethan Society. M-My first meeting's tonight.
Claire: I'm so confused.
Jay: It's plain as day. This woman is here to swing with me.
Luke: That's it. That's where I draw the line.
Gloria: How did this happen?
Claire: I'll tell you how this happened. Because nobody was willing to say what needs to be said. No. No. No. And hell no.

Luke: [on the phone] It's how you feel about the B-minus, Denise, not how your mother and I feel about it. No, I'm not saying no to the Amsterdam trip. Yeah, it sounds like a fun summer, but how is that gonna look on a college application? We'll talk about it later. Of course I'm proud of you.