Previous Episode Next Episode 
Won't You Be Our Neighbor

‘Won't You Be Our Neighbor’

Season 6, Episode 5 - Aired October 22, 2014

With Phil in charge of selling the house next door, Claire is hopeful they can select the perfect neighbors. Jay forbids Manny from seeing his new girlfriend after learning she's the grand daughter of his great closet rival. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron are determined to get Lily moved to another class to get away from a stern, uncompromising teacher.

Quote from Luke

Claire: Okay. That's them. That's them. Everybody look like you're gardening. Luke, grab that little hoe.
[Luke puts his arms around Haley]
Haley: Uh, I -- I don't think that's what she meant. Is it?

Rate

Quote from Gloria

Jay: Holy cow. It works!
Gloria: What is he doing?
Manny: He's putting socks in a soda box and pulling them out.
Gloria: Oh, no. This is like when my grandmother started combing her hair with a cactus. Jay, Jay, who is the president?

Quote from Manny

Jay: How could you bring her to my home? She's the granddaughter of my worst enemy.
Manny: I had no idea who she was. I met her in my theater group. I'm Caesar, and she's concubine #3. It was bound to happen.

Quote from Jay

Jay: What else did you discuss with her? Did you mention we've been experimenting with lighted hanging rods?
Manny: I don't have a great rap with girls, but it's better than that.
Jay: Well, you're gonna use it with someone else 'cause I forbid you to see her.
Manny: What?
Gloria: That's not fair.
Jay: What's not fair is me picking up the pieces of my life while Earl gets to be an extra on "Dallas"!

Quote from Mitchell

Mrs. Plank: Parents are not allowed to choose their children's teachers.
Mitchell: No, and, of course, I would never suggest special treatment for Lily even if she is a- a former orphan and minority and- and daughter of two gay men.
Cameron: That's a big load on those little shoulders.
Mrs. Plank: Are you suggesting that your daughter is at a disadvantage because she's being raised by gay parents?
Mitchell: Is it working?

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Look. Uh, we just don't think that Lily responds to your, uh, teaching methods, and we think she would be happier in Miss Sparrow's class.
Mrs. Plank: We would all be happier in that new-age drum circle she calls a classroom.
Cameron: Okay, well, we didn't mean to offend you. We're not saying you're any worse than her.
Mrs. Plank: She.
Cameron: Ma'am?
Mrs. Plank: "Than she." That's proper English. It's too bad Lily won't learn it.
Mitchell: So she can go.
Mrs. Plank: As far as I'm concerned, she's gone already. One more child left behind.
Mitchell: Okay, you know what? No. Lily will be fine, 'cause she's gonna have the chance to thrive in a more supportive environment.
Cameron: Yeah, you don't need to worry about she.

Quote from Claire

Claire: [aside to camera] When Reefer Madness raised his offer, we invited the Thompsons over to try to convince them to raise theirs.
Phil: We wanted to show them that the best thing about that house is its location.
Claire: It's Dunphy-adjacent.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Just keep your granddaughter out of my house. For all I know, you sent her over there to spy on me!
Earl: Sophie? What is she doing at your house?
Jay: Dating my kid.
Earl: Mitchell? He's got to be 40 years old. And don't you know that- Oh, I get to do this. Mitchell is gay.
Jay: Shut up. My stepson, Manny.
Earl: She's dating one of you? My little, sweet Sophie?
Jay: That's right. My boy's dating her. He's dating her real good.
Earl: Well, I'm gonna put an end to it.
Jay: Great idea, Earl. 'Cause girls love take advice from their grandfathers about boys.
Earl: I banged your ex-wife!
Jay: If you banged Dede, I do owe you an apology.

Quote from Lily

Mitchell: Miss Sparrow's so fun and creative.
Megan: Yeah, today, she gave us yarn, and we did whatever we wanted.
Lily: I don't want to play with yarn. I want to read and learn math.
Megan: We do math.
Lily: Really? What's 2 plus 7?
Mitchell: No. No, it's 9. But that's an honest mistake, sweetheart.
Lily: Okay, what does blue and yellow make?
Megan: Blellow.
Lily: [to her parents] You need to fix this.

Quote from Alex

Claire: I could not sleep all night thinking about those obnoxious people living next door to us.
Alex: Especially that boy with the ripped jeans and the long hair and those blue eyes who called me hot. Me? Hot? What?

 First PagePage 3