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Under Pressure

‘Under Pressure’

Season 5, Episode 12 -  Aired January 15, 2014

At a high school open house, Claire finds herself overwhelmed just thinking about all the pressure on Alex, Jay teaches Phil to break the rules some times, and Gloria encounters a competitive "mean girl" mom. Meanwhile, Mitchell gets defensive when he's confronted by his eco-warrior neighbor.

Quote from Gloria

Claire: Who was that?
Gloria: Dr. Dooda Dada. She thinks that she can flirt her son all the way to Washington, but I'm gonna take her down.
Claire: I would love to chat, but I got to get to A.P. Calc.


Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Oh, well, you know what? We're really not supposed to, but you know what? Hey, guys, listen to this. My name's Cam. I'm the sheriff of Dodge Ball. Okay, you guys are the Hatfields. You are the McCoys. Mr. Mandelbaum, I'd like you to stay seated. You're gonna be our referee. All right, everybody, let's dodgeball!
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Dodgeball was a smash. Dr. Donna and Gloria were like two assassins just picking off their victims one by one.

Quote from Luke

Luke: Wait a minute. We like all the same things, but you don't think I'm cute?
Piper: I've got a thing for Latin men.
Zoe: I like 'em dumb.
Luke: Well, that's just offensive.
Manny: And shallow. Just because we're guys doesn't mean we don't have feelings.
Luke: Yeah. I don't feel good about this. It makes me feel... Bad.

Quote from Luke

Manny: Come on, Luke. Let's get out of here.
Piper: Our parents aren't home. If you want, we'll make out with you.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: I'm not proud of what happened next.
Luke: I am.

Quote from Mitchell

Haley: My boots!
Mitchell: This is a disaster! Save the seals!

Quote from Jay

Jay: You think you can get this thing to work?
Phil: Hey, you're supposed to be the lookout. What if somebody walks in?
Jay: Gee, they'll call my parents.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Listen, I'm gonna get back to class.
Jay: Before you go, let me ask you a question. How do you know how to do all this stuff?
Phil: Back in High School, I was in the A.V. club. We did all kinds of crazy things. One year, we hid a microphone in the gym. We could totally hear everything that was going on at prom.
Jay: I used to make fun of guys like you. This is pretty cool.

Quote from Phil

Jay: Best open house ever.
Phil: It's all gravy when you're in the A.V.

Quote from Alex

Alex: I've been like this for as long as I can remember.
Dr. Clark: Can you give me an example?
Alex: Well, when I was little, I was in a spelling bee at school and I really wanted to win. I don't know why. There was no prize. No one cared. My parents didn't even know I was in it. I just felt this weight on my shoulders, like if I lost, I'd- I don't know. I just had to win.
Dr. Clark: And did you?
Alex: Yep. Know what the winning word was? Responsibility.
Dr. Clark: Is that what you feel? A responsibility to win all the time? To always be the best?
Alex: That's one way to put it.

Quote from Claire

Mrs. Nuttle: I realize our juniors are busy with S.A.T.s, so as a rule, I only give two hours of homework a night.
Claire: Two hours?
Mrs. Nuttle: Our students are highly advanced. It's nothing they can't handle.
Claire: You know, I'm- I'm sure they can. It's just that if they have two hours in this class and they have an hour for A.P. Bio and an hour and a half for, um, advanced lit and- Hang on one second. Let me just do this on the board, 'cause then it's... Um, we got 2 and 1 and 1.5 and then another, uh, hour and a half for A.P. History gives us...
Nina: It's 6.
Claire: Yes! Nina, I was getting there. Thank you! Thank you so much! If I could just have a second to think without all the tippy-tappy typing. Six.

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