Haley: You know what you should do? March right over there and wave that trophy in his stupid eco face.
Mitchell: No. You think?
Haley: Yes. Those people are so annoying. There's this girl at my school who was all over me about my boots 'cause they're leather. Meanwhile, she's wearing crocs, like those aren't endangered.

Mitchell: All right, those are blowing into his yard. That is- Okay, that's definitely gonna hurt my case. [to Haley] Uh, you pick these up. I'm gonna go get the trophy. Lily, help her.
Lily: I heard that "recycled child" comment.

Phil: Thanks to your little flask, now the teacher thinks I'm a burnout.
Jay: Football game. Football game!
Phil: What are you doing?
Jay: You can do this now. I saw it in a commercial.
Phil: Not with that phone. You might as well say it into your wallet.

Dr. Clark: And this responsibility, where does it come from?
Alex: I'm not sure. It's just there.
Dr. Clark: So it's an internal pressure.
Alex: Yeah. Kind of. I mean, once you start overachieving, people expect things from you.
Dr. Clark: Like what people?
Alex: You know, the world... Teachers, parents, other kids. It's not all internal. Don't get me wrong. I like the way I'm wired. It's what's going to get me into a good school. It's what makes me who I am.
Dr. Clark: And how is that, being who you are?
Alex: I don't know. Mostly good. A little exhausting. Sometimes hard. I guess there's your answer. It's hard being me.
Dr. Clark: Tell me a little more about your family.
Alex: They're pretty normal, I guess. I'm not like any of them, but that doesn't really bother me.
Dr. Clark: Ever?
Alex: Only when they say things like "Alex, you study too much" or "Don't freak out" or "Go do something fun."

Haley: Whoa. You're being a little-
Alex: Obstreperous?! Recalcitrant?! Truculent?!
Haley: I was gonna say "cray-cray."
Claire: Alex, sweet-
Alex: I really need to focus! There is a 16-year-old science prodigy studying cancer research at Johns Hopkins! Sixteen! What am I doing? I'm eating cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!

Dr. Clark: So, your siblings, they don't experience the same pressures you do.
Alex: Oh, God, no. They don't care about school.
Dr. Clark: Hmm. Why do you think that is? I mean, you all grew up in the same house with the same parents, yet you're the only one who feels this enormous pressure to achieve at such a high level.
Alex: Why do we even have to talk about my family? They don't have anything to do with this. They don't get me.
Dr. Clark: How's that feel?
Alex: I don't know.
Dr. Clark: You're a smart girl. Try a little harder.
Alex: I said I don't know. [sighs] I feel... Kind of alone.

Claire: Alex might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let's try to be sensitive.
Haley: Oh, believe me, I am going to be nothing but nice to Alex from now on. If she snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think she's coming for first?
Claire: She's not going on a rampage.
Phil: I bet she'd let me live. She likes me.
Luke: I'm just gonna say it. I never trusted her.

Haley: [to Alex] Hi, pretty girl.
Claire: How'd you sleep?
Alex: Fine.
Haley: Your hair looks super-soft, Al. And is that a great new sweater? Love!
Alex: Dad, can you hand me the butter knife?
All: No!

Cameron: Check it out. I'm rockin' the old school for the open house today. I'm gonna put the "fizz" back in "phys ed."

Asher: Um, I just wanted to let you know, I think there might be something wrong with your air conditioner.
Mitchell: Oh, really?
Asher: Yeah, I mean, it just seems to be running a lot, even when it's, uh, kind of cool outside.
Mitchell: Oh. No, no. Um, my partner runs a little hot.
Asher: Not as hot as our planet. Sorry. I don't mean to be that guy. It's just, um, we're all in this together.
Mitchell: Yeah, I drive a Prius, so...
Asher: And that's a nice little gesture. My car runs on reclaimed cooking oil. I have some literature, if you want it.
Mitchell: That's okay. Save the paper.
Asher: I haven't printed anything since 2004. I was gonna e-mail you.
Mitchell: On your power-hungry computer?
Asher: My entire house is solar-powered. I sell energy back to the grid and use that money to save polar bears.
Mitchell: I'm an environmental lawyer, so, you know, I'm pretty green.
Asher: Mm. So is your lawn.
Mitchell: I went drought-tolerant: succulents, indigenous plants, rock garden.
Lily: My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.
Asher: She's a cute kid. I remember when she was in disposable diapers.