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Modern Family: Under Pressure

‘Under Pressure’

Season 5, Episode 12 -  Aired January 15, 2014

At a high school open house, Claire finds herself overwhelmed just thinking about all the pressure on Alex, Jay teaches Phil to break the rules some times, and Gloria encounters a competitive "mean girl" mom. Meanwhile, Mitchell gets defensive when he's confronted by his eco-warrior neighbor.

Quote from Haley

Haley: You know what you should do? March right over there and wave that trophy in his stupid eco face.
Mitchell: No. You think?
Haley: Yes. Those people are so annoying. There's this girl at my school who was all over me about my boots 'cause they're leather. Meanwhile, she's wearing crocs, like those aren't endangered.

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Quote from Lily

Mitchell: All right, those are blowing into his yard. That is- Okay, that's definitely gonna hurt my case. [to Haley] Uh, you pick these up. I'm gonna go get the trophy. Lily, help her.
Lily: I heard that "recycled child" comment.

Quote from Jay

Phil: Thanks to your little flask, now the teacher thinks I'm a burnout.
Jay: Football game. Football game!
Phil: What are you doing?
Jay: You can do this now. I saw it in a commercial.
Phil: Not with that phone. You might as well say it into your wallet.

Quote from Alex

Dr. Clark: And this responsibility, where does it come from?
Alex: I'm not sure. It's just there.
Dr. Clark: So it's an internal pressure.
Alex: Yeah. Kind of. I mean, once you start overachieving, people expect things from you.
Dr. Clark: Like what people?
Alex: You know, the world... Teachers, parents, other kids. It's not all internal. Don't get me wrong. I like the way I'm wired. It's what's going to get me into a good school. It's what makes me who I am.
Dr. Clark: And how is that, being who you are?
Alex: I don't know. Mostly good. A little exhausting. Sometimes hard. I guess there's your answer. It's hard being me.
Dr. Clark: Tell me a little more about your family.
Alex: They're pretty normal, I guess. I'm not like any of them, but that doesn't really bother me.
Dr. Clark: Ever?
Alex: Only when they say things like "Alex, you study too much" or "Don't freak out" or "Go do something fun."

Quote from Alex

Dr. Clark: So, your siblings, they don't experience the same pressures you do.
Alex: Oh, God, no. They don't care about school.
Dr. Clark: Hmm. Why do you think that is? I mean, you all grew up in the same house with the same parents, yet you're the only one who feels this enormous pressure to achieve at such a high level.
Alex: Why do we even have to talk about my family? They don't have anything to do with this. They don't get me.
Dr. Clark: How's that feel?
Alex: I don't know.
Dr. Clark: You're a smart girl. Try a little harder.
Alex: I said I don't know. [sighs] I feel... Kind of alone.

Quote from Alex

Haley: Whoa. You're being a little-
Alex: Obstreperous?! Recalcitrant?! Truculent?!
Haley: I was gonna say "cray-cray."
Claire: Alex, sweet-
Alex: I really need to focus! There is a 16-year-old science prodigy studying cancer research at Johns Hopkins! Sixteen! What am I doing? I'm eating cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!

Quote from Luke

Claire: Alex might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let's try to be sensitive.
Haley: Oh, believe me, I am going to be nothing but nice to Alex from now on. If she snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think she's coming for first?
Claire: She's not going on a rampage.
Phil: I bet she'd let me live. She likes me.
Luke: I'm just gonna say it. I never trusted her.

Quote from Haley

Haley: [to Alex] Hi, pretty girl.
Claire: How'd you sleep?
Alex: Fine.
Haley: Your hair looks super-soft, Al. And is that a great new sweater? Love!
Alex: Dad, can you hand me the butter knife?
All: No!

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Check it out. I'm rockin' the old school for the open house today. I'm gonna put the "fizz" back in "phys ed."

Quote from Mitchell

Asher: Um, I just wanted to let you know, I think there might be something wrong with your air conditioner.
Mitchell: Oh, really?
Asher: Yeah, I mean, it just seems to be running a lot, even when it's, uh, kind of cool outside.
Mitchell: Oh. No, no. Um, my partner runs a little hot.
Asher: Not as hot as our planet. Sorry. I don't mean to be that guy. It's just, um, we're all in this together.
Mitchell: Yeah, I drive a Prius, so...
Asher: And that's a nice little gesture. My car runs on reclaimed cooking oil. I have some literature, if you want it.
Mitchell: That's okay. Save the paper.
Asher: I haven't printed anything since 2004. I was gonna e-mail you.
Mitchell: On your power-hungry computer?
Asher: My entire house is solar-powered. I sell energy back to the grid and use that money to save polar bears.
Mitchell: I'm an environmental lawyer, so, you know, I'm pretty green.
Asher: Mm. So is your lawn.
Mitchell: I went drought-tolerant: succulents, indigenous plants, rock garden.
Lily: My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.
Asher: She's a cute kid. I remember when she was in disposable diapers.

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