Cameron: Oh, my God, this plate is gorgeous.
Trent: Oh, thank you. Yeah, we got that in Nepal at a festival celebrating the child goddess Kumari.
Cameron: Oh, well, the closest I've been to a child goddess was my Drew Barrymore lunch box.

Phil: Look, Dylan...
Dylan: No explanation necessary, Mr. D. If you had to rough me up and take me hostage, I'm sure you had your reasons.

Phil: Listen. Uh... Arvin's here. He flew back from Switzerland to surprise Haley.
Dylan: Wow. I'm up against another grand gesture. What's he dressed as?
Phil: Nothing. Just... Just himself.
Dylan: [chuckles] I like my chances.

Arvin: Haley, I need to tell you something. I transgressed.
Haley: You were a woman?
Arvin: No. No. After you told me about your kiss, um, I headed straight to a pub frequented by other scientists and, long story short, I kissed a nuclear physicist. I know it's not PC to say, but they really are the loosest of the scientific disciplines.

Claire: What is Dylan doing here?
Phil: He's making a grand gesture. He won't leave until he talks to Haley.
Claire: Oh, my God. It was one kiss.
Phil: [chuckling] Poor, naive Claire. It was two kisses.
Claire: You have something to do with this?
Phil: Haley was ghosting him.
Claire: What does that mean?
Phil: You are so not hip.

Phil: But you should know Dylan has been putting himself through nursing school, working at the hospital, running.
Claire: You're not honestly making a case for that guy?
Phil: That guy would take a bullet for Haley.
Claire: Why are you so invested in him?
Phil: Because I was that guy! I was the underdog with every girl I ever liked.
Claire: [sighs] That's very sweet. But this isn't about you. This is about Haley being with a respected, charming scientist versus a guy who Lily convinced to eat a box of crayons.
Phil: It was one bite out of one crayon. It was only because he was blindfolded and trapped in a Chinese finger puzzle.

Haley: I had no idea Arvin was going to be here but can we please do this another time?
Dylan: I won't have the costume another time, Haley.
Arvin: So, this is the doll you slept with.
Dylan: Hey, you're pretty handsome yourself.

Arvin: So many questions. First, why have you snuck 'round to see the bloke you supposedly feel terrible about kissing?
Dylan: Yo, I hope this doesn't sound braggy, but for the most part, people do not feel terrible about kissing me.

Arvin: Listen to me, my simple friend. I just spent hours in a middle seat. I suggest you get out of my space.
Dylan: Well, I suggest, next time, you ask about an exit row. It could still be a middle seat, but you'd have more leg room.

Mitchell: Okay, this is a disaster.
Cameron: I know, but is any part of you still hearing "first trip to Tanzania"?
Mitchell: He was just about to offer me the case I want.
Cameron: Well, there'll be other cases.
Mitchell: No. This one involves a music producer, an escort, and illegal arms sales, okay? I want to bring them to justice. Plus, they've already sold the movie rights. I could be played by Ryan Gosling.
Cameron: That's it, honey. Aim high.