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The Wedding (Part 2)

‘The Wedding (Part 2)’

Season 5, Episode 24 - Aired May 21, 2014

As the wedding day chaos continues, Mitchell and Cameron wonder whether it's time to call the whole thing off. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria try to undo the damage they caused between Merle and Barb.

Quote from Phil

Cameron: Phil, you're a lifesaver. Thank you.
Phil: No thanks necessary. Cameron, marrying you would make me the happiest man on earth.
Jay: Uh-huh.


Quote from Pepper

Pepper: Everyone, attention, please! I've been informed by the fire chief we need to leave immediately! The winds have shifted!
Cameron: What? But w-we have 30 minutes! A fellow wedding facilitator has informed me a beautiful space just became available. To the shuttles!
Mitchell: But we don't know a thing about this place.
Pepper: Oh, my mistake. Let's go over it. It's a quaint, rustic spot, though its chief selling point is it's not about to become a kiln!
Mitchell: To the shuttles!

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Cam, where are the shuttles that brought everyone up from the parking lot?
Cameron: Apparently they were double booked. This is the best Pepper could do.
Mitchell: This is how we're getting everyone to the wedding?
Cameron: Half our guests are gay. We're finally giving them a good memory on a school bus.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: What did you say to Merle that make him want to leave Barb?
Jay: I have no idea! We were just shooting the breeze Wedding day, Dede, how happy I am now that I'm with you.
Gloria: Why would you say something like that? Now you're breaking somebody's heart.
Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, him when he realizes that not every second wife looks like this.

Quote from Jay

Jay: This is not your fault, by the way. The fire was an act of God. Not that god sent a fireball down to keep a couple guys from getting married, but I didn't say that right. There's no way that this any of this is part of God's plan.
Mitchell: Save something for the toast, Dad.

Quote from Alex

Haley: He's doing the dumbest thing. His girlfriend broke up with him, and he's flying out to win her back.
Alex: That sounds so romantic.
Haley: It's so weak. This girl throws a fit, he goes running. If they get back together, she has all the power.
Alex: Oh, my God. You like him.
Haley: No, I don't.
Alex: What? This is so hilarious. He's totally not your type.
Haley: Shut up. Please.
Alex: You can't stop thinking about him, you're checking on him. He's not even like a real person. He's like a muppet.

Quote from Pepper

Pepper: Wait. Why am I seeing only half a quartet?
Cellist: Ed and Jim are volunteer firemen.
Pepper: Of course they are. Try to play in front of a mirror.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Andy! You're still here?
Andy: Yeah. My flight keeps getting delayed because of weather.
Haley: Oh, so does the wedding. Wait. Is fire weather?

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Merle, I know that after talking to Jay, You think that there are better things out there for you.
Merle Tucker: Who says there isn't?
Gloria: Okay. Take a trip with me to the future. It's a regular night at the local honky tonk. Look, who's that man sitting alone in the bar? It's Merle. A beautiful woman approaches. She asks, "Is this seat taken?" He says, "No," and then she grabs the chair and goes sits next to a much younger, much handsomer-looking man. Then Merle turns around to the bartender and say, "Happy Tuesday, huh?" The bartender replies, "Don't you mean 'Merry Christmas'?" You see, Merle? It was Christmas the whole time!

Quote from Pepper

Pepper: Okay, it's show time. Cue the processional. Phil, as they say in my native South Carolina, it's time to marry your brother-in-law.

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