‘The Wedding (Part 1)’
Season 5, Episode 23 - Aired May 14, 2014
When Mitchell and Cameron's big day finally arrives, wedding planner Pepper Saltzman is put to the test by an unexpected series of events. Jay and Gloria play host to Cameron's parents, Barb and Merle. Meanwhile, Alex shepherds Phil around after an eye exam, and Claire picks Luke up from camp.
Quote from Pepper
Cameron: [answering phone] Pepper. Disaster.
Pepper: It's not a disaster. It's just a wildfire. And it's most certainly not going to burn down your wedding.
Cameron: What?!
Mitchell: What?
Cameron: There's a wildfire near the venue.
Mitchell: No!
Pepper: Yes, but it's fine. Ronaldo is going to text-blast the guest list, tell them the wedding is being moved from 5:00 to 1:00.
Mitchell: Oh, my God!
Pepper: Don't panic. Would somebody please turn off that wretched waterfall?!
Ronaldo: [over headset] Kill the waterfall immediately!
Pepper: The fire is already 28% contained.
Cameron: That doesn't sound like a lot.
Pepper: Just get dressed and look pretty. I'm going to send the car for you in one hour.
Quote from Pepper
Pepper: Have you lost your mind?! [rotates flower arrangement by about 10 degrees] Go! You disgust me! Go!
Quote from Mitchell
Jerry: Are you breaking into my store?
Cameron: Uh, no. Why would you even say that?
Jerry: My alarm went off.
Mitchell: Oh, well, okay, that is a coincidence because his tuxedo is in there, and we're getting married in an hour.
Quote from Mitchell
[As Mitchell carries Lily out of the dry cleaner:]
Jerry: Where'd she come from?
Mitchell: Oh, oh, because she doesn't look like us? That's offensive.
Cameron: Oh, Jerry. Oh, Jerry.
Quote from Luke
Claire: We are never gonna get there on time, and I am the best person. Oh, God! Oh! I think just broke a nail on a turtle.
Luke: You're the one who wanted to come out here.
Claire: Yes, I did, because I wanted to spend some time with my son. You've- You've been pushing me away so much lately, and I don't want you to grow up to be the kind of kid who doesn't care if his mom shows up at his wedding.
Luke: What are you talking about?
Claire: Nana isn't coming today, and Mitchell's relieved.
Luke: Well, I'd be really sad if you missed my wedding.
Claire: Really? You promise?
Luke: Totally. And so would Kate.
Claire: Who's Kate?
Luke: Upton. My wife, your daughter-in-law. Get on board.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Whoa! That is honestly the best photo anyone's ever taken of me.
Haley: Thank you.
Andy: You mind if I send a copy to Beth?
Haley: Andy, um... When I read the text about your flight, I saw the text from Beth telling you not to come.
Andy: Yeah, she doesn't mean that.
Haley: She said, "it's over."
Andy: That can mean a lot of different things.