‘The Musical Man’
Season 2, Episode 19 - Aired April 13, 2011
Cameron goes overboard when he's put in charge of the spring musical at Luke and Manny's school. Phil gets ad featuring his family plastered on the minivan. Meanwhile, Jay tries to bond with his brother Donnie.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Hey, look up at the moon. Would you say that's waxing or waning?
Claire: Who cares? We can spend all night looking at- "I can't be satisfied"? My God, Phil. That makes me look like a prostitute.
Phil: No.
Claire: Yes. Yes, it does.
Phil: More of an escort, really. You're just selling your time, whereas a prostitute-
Quote from Alex
Claire: I can't believe we trusted you to put this on the car after the debacle of that last picture and all the-
Phil: Damn it. [phone rining]
Claire: Who is that?
Phil: Probably another...
Alex: I think the word you're looking for is "john."
Quote from Claire
Claire: You mean to tell me that people have actually been calling about this?
Phil: There are a lot of creeps out there.
Claire: That's disgusting. She's a child.
Phil: Well, to be fair, most of them were for you.
Claire: Oh. It's still sick. What do you mean, "most"?
Phil: Well, I don't know. There were 30 calls. You got 20 or 25 of them.
Claire: What, they asked for me?
Phil: They asked for the hot blonde.
Claire: Mmm. Men are pigs. Did they call me anything else?
Quote from Claire
Claire: [aside to camera] So, thanks to all the perverts in town I realize I still have a few good years ahead of me.
Phil: And if we have one person to thank for that, it would be...
Claire: No.