Mitchell: What's up?
Manny: Okay, you gotta talk to Cam. He's driving us crazy. Kevin is biting his nails again. And Reuben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week. Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.

Luke: China sure was fun. And look, there's merry old England.
Alex: Has anyone here ever seen a globe?

Cameron: Okay. All right. That one was my fault, but Joan of Arc's gonna be just fine.
Manny: It's not gonna be much fun doing the show without Emma.
Delroy: Maybe we should just stop this.
Cameron: No. No. There is a saying in the theater world that-
Manny: "It's not worth dying for"?
Cameron: No. It's that endings make shows. And we've got a great ending. Now get out there and sing your hearts out. Not you, sweetie. You just mouth the words.
Luke: Uncle Cam, both my legs are tingly.
Cameron: We'll cut you down in just a second, Luke, okay? The show must go on. Have fun with it.

Luke: Learning about the world sure was fun. But I'm glad to have my feet back on the ground again.
Kids: [sing] Oh, Egypt is the land where the pyramids stand Which were built by industrious Jews And windmills go round in Holland town Where they all wear wooden shoes These are the things we learned today And there's one last thing we want to say
Claire: "We love the word"?
Cameron: Where's the "L"?
Manny: It's Luke.
Cameron: Lower the insignia. Lower the-
Jay: We love the- What the hell?
Cameron: No. No, no. No. No. No, no. No. No. No, no. No. No. No, no. No.

Claire: Okay, Phil, I have been driving around in this all day.
Phil: Well, since, you're mad already why don't you just step over here... And have a look at that.
Haley: [screams]
Claire: Oh, God. My baby.
Haley: I am not getting back in that car!
Claire: How do you think you're gonna get home, honey?
Haley: It doesn't matter. I'll go home with anyone.
Alex: That's what it should say on the van.

Cameron: Was it as awful as I think?
Mitchell: Take the flowers.
Cameron: It must have been really hard for you to be supportive while I made a fool out of myself.
Mitchell: Oh. Come here. [Luke claps] Luke, do you mind? We're trying to have a moment here.
Luke: I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes.
Cameron: In his eyes?
Mitchell: Yes.
Cameron: Okay.
Mitchell: We'll get a janitor.

Cameron: Be in my corner. Don't be so critical.
Mitchell: What Is that really how you see me?
Cameron: Sometimes, yeah, I do, Mitchell.
Mitchell: Oh, Cam. Well, if that's true, then I'm sorry. No, okay. From now on, I am in your corner, 100%. And that song is gonna knock everyone out.
Cameron: Well, I don't know. But wait till you see the dance I have prepared.
Mitchell: A dance? A dance!

Alex: Good morning, family. How are you all doing on this beautiful day?
Claire: Okay, what's this?
Alex: Haley's S.A.T. scores are available online.
Haley: I hate you.

Alex: This is just a fluke. She can take them again.
Phil: Yeah, and she'll probably do even better. You are gonna have your choice of some pretty good colleges when the time comes.
Haley: If I go to college.
Claire: What?
Haley: I've been thinking about it lately, and I might not. Later.
Alex: Well, we took the scenic route, but we ended up in the same place.

Mitchell: All right. Well, Cam, it's just that sometimes you can be a little, you know, overenthusiastic.
Cameron: Is it really that big of a deal that I want this to be the best show in the world?
Mitchell: Well, as long as you heard me.