‘The Last Christmas’
Season 11, Episode 9 - Aired December 11, 2019
Cameron is hoping to keep everyone happy for their annual Christmas dinner as he hides and prepares for his big interview for a head coaching position out of state. Meanwhile, Haley is excited to finally be reunited with wine; and Mitchell is suspicious of Cam’s holiday trip to visit his family in Missouri.
Quote from Alex
Gloria: I can't believe that you ratted me out.
Alex: I'm not afraid of you! With... everyone else around.
Quote from Cameron
Dylan: Oh, my God. You're dying?
Cameron: [voice breaking] No, I'm not dying. It's something else. [long pause]
Luke: Is he pausing to be dramatic?
Mitchell: What do you think?
Quote from Cameron
Phil: So wait. Would you guys really move?
Claire: Mitchell's not moving to Missouri. What would he do for work? Prosecute Otis, the town drunk?
Cameron: Excuse me. It's not Mayberry. And I'll have you know, our town ne'er-do-well is a female who's addicted to prescription nasal spray, so...
Quote from Haley
Haley: [voice breaking] You guys can't go! I don't want my babies growing up without you. They're never gonna believe my stories!
Quote from Dylan
Alex: For what it's worth, Uncle Cam, my company has an office in New York, and I said I'd be open to transferring, so I could easily break up the family.
Claire: You... You never mentioned this to us.
Haley: Yeah, and I told NERP that I would be open to working at the Paris office. I mean, Dylan and I have always wanted to live there.
Phil: Wait. You'd take the babies to France?
Dylan: We... We... We've talked about it. Sorry. I get nervous when you're all looking at me.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: What if instead, I am Cher, you are Sonny, and it says "We've got you, babe"?
Phil: Gloria, I-I don't know how to say this, but that is the freshest damn idea I have ever heard! I love it!