‘The Last Christmas’
Season 11, Episode 9 - Aired December 11, 2019
Cameron is hoping to keep everyone happy for their annual Christmas dinner as he hides and prepares for his big interview for a head coaching position out of state. Meanwhile, Haley is excited to finally be reunited with wine; and Mitchell is suspicious of Cam’s holiday trip to visit his family in Missouri.
Quote from Gloria
Claire: You coddle Manny. He should already be over Sherry. But I guess that's what happens when you let a kid sleep in your bed till he's... 15.
Gloria: 13.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Luke, I think you should go.
Claire: No. He is not going anywhere.
Gloria: Every family has a bad seed that needs to be cast out so that they can find their way back. I thought that ours was going to be Haley, but an accidental pregnancy saved her from a life of degradation.
Haley: Aww.
Quote from Luke
Manny: Nobody has to leave. I can spend one evening with the people I love and a shifty lecher who sleeps in a shower cap filled with mayonnaise.
Luke: It gives me my sheen. And I told you that in confidence, you hump!
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Okay! Knock it off! It is time for some farm justice. Back home, when we have two alpha bulls, we lock 'em in a pen and let them fight it out. This is between Manny and Luke. Come on! Let's go. Hyah! Hyah!
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Do not come out of this room until this is settled. I will tell you what I tell the bulls, gentlemen... I love you both, but don't make me regret letting you keep your testicles.
Quote from Claire
Jay: Honey, there you are! I've been wanting to talk to you about something...
Claire: About the greatest golf shot you ever made? What was that?
Jay: Oh, man. 10th hole at Riviera. I had a decision to make.
Claire: Yeah?
Jay: I could go left and stay out of trouble or...
Claire: Can't do it. Is Phil calling me?
Quote from Phil
Alex: Dad? What are you doing over here by yourself? Are you okay?
Phil: Oh, I'm... I'm worried this Luke and Manny thing will affect me and Gloria at work. We've been having such a great time. I call us "Chica and the Man."
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: How do you call yourself Colombian after letting that skunk off the hook so easily? Tell me, at least, that you have one of his toes in your pocket.
Phil: Come on, now, Gloria. This is good news.
Gloria: Disloyalty being rewarded?
Alex: Disloyalty? Really? Dad, I caught Gloria interviewing for a job with another Realtor.
Gloria: What?!
Phil: Chica! How could you?
Quote from Lily
Cameron: Oh, insensitive old white men. What would Christmas be without one?
Phil: We seem to have insensitive people of all ethnicities!
Lily: Was that a shot at me? I've been good. You can't believe the stuff I haven't said today.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Cam, what's up with your trip home? Your parents aren't even there. "Merry Christmas. Not Happy Holidays. From Galveston."