‘The Future Dunphys’
Season 4, Episode 19 - Aired April 3, 2013
When Phil takes Claire to the hospital for a test, they encounter a family that offers them a glimpse of their future selves. Meanwhile, Jay takes Manny to an interview at a private school, and Mitchell and Cameron arrange for Gloria to take Lily out on a "girls' day".
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Come on, Lily is not gay. It's probably just a phase. Oh, my God. Did I just say that? Do not tell anyone I just said that.
Quote from Claire
Claire: [on the phone] Yes, I promise I'll call you as soon as I get the results. Yes, I am aware that hospitals are a hotbed of infection. Thank you, Manny.
Quote from Claire
Claire: Luke, please stop taking appliances apart.
Luke: I'm making something.
Claire: You're unmaking something.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Phil, talk to your children.
Phil: All right. Everybody listen up. Haley, you're not quitting. You're resigning. It sounds better.
Claire: No. Unh-unh.
Phil: Alex, you have all of spring break to lock yourself in your room and study.
Claire: No, no, no, no, no.
Phil: And, Luke, coffee bot is a non-starter. But I do like the idea of popcorn kernels in the pancake batter so they self-flip.
Claire: Stop talking! Step away from the children.
Quote from Jay
Manny: This is lucky. At 2:00, the school's award-winning bell players will be performing a medley of civil war drinking songs.
Jay: What do they call that? Unhappy hour?
Quote from Lily
Mitchell: Um, so Gloria was telling us about something that you said. Something about you being gay?
Lily: What about it?
Cameron: Okay, very aggressive. Just saying.
Mitchell: Um, w-we're--we're just wondering, you know, why did you say that?
Lily: Because I'm gay.
Cameron: But why do you think you're gay, sweetie?
Lily: We're learning about it in school.
Cameron: Oh.
Lily: My friend Aldo's parents are Italian, so he's Italian. And you and daddy are gay, so I'm gay.
All: Oh.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: First of all, adorable. But that's not how it works. When Aldo's talking about him being Italian, he's talking about his heritage.
Mitchell: Yeah, and that's a totally different thing than being gay. See, heritage is, uh, well, it's something that you're born with, and- Oh, my God. What's wrong with me?
Quote from Cameron
Gloria: Is that all you know about her culture?
Cameron: No. I mean, w- We're- We're saving some of the things until she gets older to tell her about. I-I wanna say the windmills and the tulips?
Mitchell: Don't.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: No wonder she has so many questions. She doesn't know who she is.
Cameron: Well, I guess we kind of dropped the ball.
Gloria: You know what? Forget the pretty nails. We are all going to a Vietnamese restaurant, and we are gonna give her a taste of her culture. Which one is the best restaurant around here?
Mitchell: There's Little...
Cameron: I wanna say Saigon.
Gloria: You know nothing. I'll look in the Jelp.
Quote from Jay
Manny: I-I guess what I'm trying to say is, I like books for reading them.
Dean: You care to elaborate?
Manny: Indeed. [knocks over chess pieces]
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Did you ever see one of those slow-motion movies where they destroy an old casino, and it just implodes? That.